.decipher.my.fascination.

2007-03-07T00:14:00.000+08:00

seri0us h0ney, u've g0ne wayy 0verb0ard n0w.. i reli d0 tink dat u shud b m0re matured. shudnt u b a lil m0re practical instead 0f criticizin ppl in their bl0gs?! cm0n, u'r embaraSsin me & entirely bringin my name d0wn. pls lissa, i knw u undrstnd wat i mean. u'r 0ld enuff 2 tink wats g0od & bad fr euu.. u wudnt wana ruin ur reputati0n right?.. pls, wrk wif me in dis..

haiss.. ppl, cud u jus gimme a m0ment 2 spare a th0ught fr myself?.. all i ever cared abt is 0ther ppl's difficulties dat i'd end up f0rgettin mine.. ( p.s. i tk maksud u k syg? u'r definitely d 1st dat i'll c0nt. caring abt..) my family & b0yfie's an excepti0n c0s dey'r d 1st in my life. i l0ve dem d m0st. perhaps uncertainty is getting penetrated int0 my bl0od veSsels dat its making me t0o pre0ccupied.. cant seem 2 put my finger 0n d matter.

1stly, d lissa-cant-st0p-tagging-ppl issue.. 2nd, my devastated & unprevailing future wif studies. 3rd, d c0mplexed life 0f having a bf & maintainin d rship eventh0ugh ders always 3RD PARTIES dat will try t0 pull us apart. i wana rest, i need a life & i definitely dun NEED idi0ts 2 add 0n my burden.. futherm0re, b0th wrkplaces hasnt given me my 0verdue paycheck. sickening. im quitting paperppl.. management is s0o un0rganised & n0t pr0mpt.. indespicable.

truly, i need a vacati0n but imp0ssible c0s im cashleSs!! *screams* hate being br0ke! darls leaving me s0on fr a vacati0n wich i cant c0me al0ng.. *s0bb* its 0k, i'll b fine. u kn0w i will right? 9 march, t0o s0on.. *sighs* 4 days, i'll b waiting fr ur return.. my future's s0 s0 sl0omy. n0thing seems t0 b l0oking great 0r d least, g0od. feeling detrimented. n0w all my english v0cab will c0me out.. im in need 0f a place wher i cud b left in tranquility.. ~hmmm

p.s. h0ney, call me s0on ya?..
i mish u dearly.. l0ve euu

2007-03-05T10:19:00.000+08:00

The Anti-Drug Abuse Dance Competition

updati0n t0 d 3 0f march p0st.. my sis dance perf0rmance. h0pe u guys will enj0y. d s0unding isnt very clear & d pic is rather shakey. due t0 s0me disturbance..

2007-03-03T21:47:00.000+08:00

t0day was uber gr8!! i didnt regret d fact dat i w0ke up early.. i went t0 watch my sis perf0rmance in united sq. its d anti-drug abuse dance c0mp fr d pri skuls.. ad0rable lil creatures!! dey'r like s0 tiny but d are d b0mb! pumping up & dwn like d w0rld ev0lves ard dem..

d c0mp was a real drag actuali c0s s0me skul's perf0rmances didnt hav any anti-drugs msgs at all.. s0me l0oked as if dey'r g0in fr a slumber party!! ridicul0us. my mum & i came t0 lianhua pri ard 11:30am t0 help d cheerleaders wif d makeup & hair styling. my fav s0 i did my best!! :)) glad dat dey l0ved it.. d bus was rather cramp s0 i had t0 sit bside dis b0y. u kn0w h0w kids behave wen girls are ard.. childish sec 1's.

niwae, we rch united sq & all 0f us wer eager t0 watch a perf0rmances. i l0ve certain grps as dey perf0rmed reali well.. energetic, i say. while waiting fr my sis turn t0 perf0rm, i grab a c0uple 0f snaps wif her. unf0rtunately, its in my fren's cam. darn, get it upl0aded asap. pr0mise. aft dat, my aunt & family came dwn.. we planned t0 get lunch c0s its 0nly 12+ & my sis is perf0rming ard 2pm. we went t0 prata cafe.. f0od was c0stly & wasnt s0 tasty. i jus l0ved d mil0 shake. shake uh.. :) haha, t0ok pic wif ibu!!

aft lunch, i saw d instruct0rs & it was my frens frm d BFC! w0ah, l0ved u guys. misz d times wher we spent like d wh0le day at YP huh? duncha?.. c ya ard k anip & wan. well, wen my sis grp came 0ut t0 perf0rm.. i rmbr d wh0le lianhua pri supp0rters were screaming 0ur heads 0ff! cheerleader wif drums & trumpets.. n0isy peeps, my fav!ever p0pped 0ut in 0ur heads at all.. t0o energised by d excellent ch0re0graphy. gr8 c0ordinati0n t0o.

futherm0re, it t0ok dem a wh0le 1 m0nth t0 learn d steps & get in mastered! i l0ve my sis.. all 0f dem did their steps pr0perly & wif full m0mentum. during rehearsels, dey f0oled ard. but it paid 0ff.. im ecstatic. reali, i was numb fr w0rds! we cheered we clapped. it cudnt pair up wif d sh0w dat dey put up fr us.. tks LHP. & d sweating masc0t.. :p i cant believe dat dey cud d0 such a w0nderful & grueling steps.. brav0 u kids. flaunt ur stuffs..

still beaming, my aunt, uncle, c0usins & mum went ard sh0pping fr l0tions & anti-dark circles. basicali, typical girls face pr0ducts t0 prevent pimples & acne! we f0und a wh0le junk while i f0und apples! hah! b0ught drinks but evryting had t0 b snap, snap c0s result releasing s0on!! ugh! we came & d kids wer making s0o0o much n0ise abt d masc0t 0nly making d 2nd placing. dey wer feeling disheartened abt dat wen....

we heard d judge said," in 1st place g0es t0.. LIANHUA PRI SCH!!" i was dumbf0unded! like wat d f*** my sis skul w0n! i was screaming & jumping while hugging my mummy. i den ran 0ff t0 inf0rm my aunt abt it as she was rushing h0me since my c0usin, azizi, wasnt feeling well ): p0or ting u dear. i came bck & saw my sis. she hugged me & we wer jumping like madneSs had been inflicted in united sq.. yea! dey made it.. & dey are taking part fr d 1st time s0me m0re.

gr8 eff0rt u guys.. keep it up! yeah. we c0llected d prezzies & sent dem 0ff t0 lunch aft dey had their ph0to taking by d preSs. piZZAs!! d seaf0od, i l0iike.. i ate a slice, cutting dwn y'all.. :'(( g0tta l0se th0se buldge! we gathered dem up & had a final maj0r grp ph0to fr d HAPPY FEET CREW!! l0vely pic.. i didnt take dis ph0to th0ugh, i was giving d signals.. ((:

h0pe u guys will g0 far in ur dreams & paSsi0n. i'll keep supp0rting u peeps. rawk on. haha.. btw, i hav t0 make a dedicati0n t0 my disgusting ex-b0yfie wh0 is my bestie N0W! kau iritating sak fiQ tpi tk mengape.. i wisH u a HAPPY 18th BiRTHDay!! btw pantat, kau skg da 0ld s0 i want my duit RAYE!! :)) dis is ur fav pic as requested, u dumb aSs n0nsense. but i still l0ve ya.. BFF ya? rmbr huh wat we pr0mise?.. tkcr 0f syaza tau..

haha!! da, puas? tgk lah gbr kau yg tk hencem tu puas puas ye.. keke! i enj0yed my day t0day & waiting fr my b0yfie t0 call.. i mish hiim dearly. s0 many tings t0 tell him, i supp0se unleSs he reads dis bl0g 1st. l0ve ya huNn.. meet eu tmr..

2007-03-01T12:48:00.001+08:00

d0 u tink he's faithful enuff?.. is he f0r real?.. shud i c0ntinue putting up wif dis r'ship?.. evrytime i tink abt us, i tink abt h0w uncertain 0ur future is. im l0st right n0w. n0t sure 0f wh0m t0 trust, wh0's taking me seri0usly & if any0ne has ever realised dat i d0 care abt them? its driving me senseleSs.. im in n0 p0siti0n t0 c0mplaint much since im having health pr0bs. flu, headache, c0ugh, s0re thr0at, st0mach cramps, etc.. im finali STRESS!! need maj0r help.. shud i call yahui?.. she might b able t0 guide me.. nah! i'll c0ntinue t0 tink abt us. mayb we'r n0t ready f0r d r'ship.. maybe, jus maybe.. we'r better 0ff 0n 0ur 0wn. 5yrs later perhaps, evryting will b al0t simpler & chances dat tings will w0rk 0ut f0r us will b higher.. pls agree wif me h0ney, i need a sense 0f asSurance.. )):

2007-02-28T17:00:00.001+08:00

well,here's a few updated pics frm dat sent0sa's 0uting.. enj0yed it wif him. :)) tks ya hunn.. my face kinda sucks c0s makeup t0o thick i gueSs. darns but heck, i l0ve his face. jus, simply ad0rable & tender t0 my eyes.. ~ aww..

d makeup sucks fr t0day.. :((d bridge 2 d nvr ending land 0f l0ve..p0ut th0se lips..hah!u l0st *blueks*l0ve thee fl0wers, hate my sick face ):jus l0ve d pic effect ~hee

i kept feeling dis way since d 1st day we became such cl0sefrens.. we jump d c0urse 0f nature t0o fast i gueSs. strangers t0 g0od buddies den besties t0 "scandal" jus t0 make s0me guy jeal0us. having g0ne thru all dat, it made us t0o cl0se dat it kept us tinking abt each 0ther & caring t0o much. 0ur cliques realised d chemistry dat we had but we never expected tings t0 b dis way.. wich is y im questi0ning! y me huh?..

1stly, he has s0 many suit0rs & a pers0nalised fanclub, but i get ch0sen wen ive 0nly kn0wn him fr a while. surprising.. wen i 1st knew him, he like s0meone cl0se t0 me & speculati0ns g0t ard wich ended up wif me reading his entire bl0g. f0und 0ut certain tings dat had relati0ns t0 a fren frm my past.. g0sh! sh0ck t0tali. futherm0re dat girl used t0 b a g0odfren 0f mine & i knew her bf t0o. k, let d pasSed be d past. but shit! i felt cheated aft readin b0th their bl0gs. dammit! reali, i didnt knw h0w t0 resp0nd.

hunn, if u'r reading dis.. im reli s0ri but i cant bear dis truth n0 l0nger.. d t0rture is painful.. evrytime i see eu, i tried t0 keep a p0sitive mindset but it always seems dat my th0ughts will drift bck abt ur past. i dun wana b deceived like last time. it hurts, badly. initially i th0ught i cud trust euu like i did wen we jus knew each 0ther but as times g0es 0n, it bec0mes such a challenge. s0mething real hard t0 accept.. isit jus me being 0ver-imaginative 0r am i f0recasted abt my future?!.. G0D, d 0nly ting i can fully trust is in EUU rite n0w. im miserable.. being attached has never been easy.. full 0f lies & deceits.

truth & lies always hurts in watever perspective u put it. im feeling amputated frm d real w0rld. i need a savi0ur. bring me t0 d right path.. if farhan's truly d 0ne fr me.. pls, i beg u t0 guide me. i dun wana g0 thru s0meting dat st0ps wif an endleSs s0rrow. dilapidated frm my senses rite n0w.. g0na get s0me shut eye.. im in a maj0r dilemma & n0body's c0operating )): sheesh dila, u'r always left 0n ur 0wn.. i wishing dat i knew d future brings.. hais.. 0utta w0rds.

2007-02-28T02:36:00.001+08:00

i s0o cant sleep rite n0w at etty's place..im reli a g0ner. ystrday i decide t0 c0ok kway te0w.n0t a reli g0od j0b th0u..but its awes0mely spicy. l0ved dat.s0meh0w, i wasnt happy wif my c0oking. k, we m0ve 0n. supp0sed t0 meet yv0nne but i cancel c0s d t0p wasnt up t0 preference. s0ri ya fr wasting ur time. aftnun had n0 mo0d tks t0 apul, idi0t! but i liven up s0on aft c0s scanner's finali fixed! yeah me!! ((:

k, den i had issues t0 settle wif a wh0le bunch 0f m0nkeys dat alm0st beat me t0 death in t0apay0h! thank G0D i cud run fast, fast enuff t0 detrail them ~phew! had t0 meet hunn dearest by 10pm s0 had al0t 0f running & rushing abt. tks t0 my fren & her dad fr giving me a lift t0 d buzst0p. b0ard 93 til harb0ur fr0nt. felt glad i cud meet him but unf0rtunately, my heels gav way. it st0od 0ut on me at d last crucial m0ments.. darns. had t0 make hunn meet me at d walkway 0f mem0ry..

i was super embarasSed c0s ders many pe0ple *blush* darls tried persuading me t0 wear his s0cks s0 dat my feet w0nt hurt. wel, stubb0rn me w0nt listen *chuckles* 855 came s0 b0ard it & planned t0 blk sh0p. we ended wif calling etty t0 b0rrow her slippers ((: l0ve my c0usin. my savi0ur! share st0ries 0f many tings in d bus. cant stand laughing at s0me st0ries.. at least, im perfectly fine n0w. n0more acute pain on my b0dy.. time flew t0o fast wen he's ard..

rch khatib & walked abt.. saw s0me teenagers ard, i s0 paisey. theref0re we t0ok a l0nger r0ute. kept c0mplaining abt my f0ot pain. s0ri bie.. i kn0w u were iritated by me.. (: k, we kinda rush t0 my c0usin's place c0s its alm0st 11:30pm. called her t0 c0me d0wn, she pasSed d flip fl0ps & said dat i cud stay 0ver if i want. *smiling gleefully* 0f c0s i wanted! s0 n0w, i had ample time left wif bucuk bucuk..

we sat at d 0pp blk & he ate d kway te0w. he LIKED it! glad he did.. ((: but he eat s0 fast!! chill, sl0w d0wn 0r u'll ch0ke. D0NT DIE IN FR0NT 0F ME!! ): a lil quality time wif him til 11:50pm & bade him gdnight farewell l0ve.. i cant bear t0 leave his side but had t0. wel, rch etty's h0use & g0t changed. aft a while, i saw his sms asking whether i wana b0rrrow his pSp. y sure.. it'll remind me 0f him wh0le night l0ng..

5min he said.. met him under d blk.. sat fr a g0od 32sec b4 i went bck up.. im s0 g0na l0ve eu & tryna h0ld 0n t0 all d ag0nising crisis. u've been t0o shwiit t0 b true! keep up d terrific impr0vements! im pr0ud 0f euu dear.. i wana sleep n0w since im d0ne wif d testi & bl0g.. gd day pe0ple..

2007-02-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

an0ther terrific day 0ut wif dearest.. wat else cud b w0nderful rite?.. k, n0thing excepti0nal in particular.. jus an0ther day t0 d beach. AGAIN?! hah, bet dats wat evry0ne said. i kn0w, i kn0w.. dis time i didnt g0 tanning c0s i'll b r0asted by then.. *blurbs* wel, d0 try t0 get wat i mean. but, t0day was wayy tiring yet funny + cute! haha.. frm my p0int view. dun0 wat u guys tink. read up y'all..

simply planned d 0uting 0vernight c0s ystrday i werk & cudnt g0 fr sam h0ney's chalet. s0ri babe, ppd running l0w 0n balance. i'll make it up t0 ya.. we g0 che0ng s0meday, my treat wen i get my pay (: ap0logy. alryt s0 we brainst0rmed but had t0 make it sneaky sneaky s0 dat n0body kn0ws. did all d plan & decide t0 meet at 7:45am latest at jrg east platf0rm. b0th later den d supp0sed time as usual.

rather 0k c0s we b0ard same train in bt bat0k & wen it paSs in jrg east, i saw shazril! hah, he's g0in t0 sch while im heading t0 bugis. Missi0n: Buy A Tent Just In Case It P0urs!! d pr0b was, we rch t0o EARLY lyk ard 8+ & d sh0p g0na b 0pen 0nly at 9am. darn but heck. im wif my b0yfie, wat m0re cud matter?.. l0ve d sec0nds spent wif him. amazing, cant describe. d time spent was s0 spectacular. n0thing can b c0mpared t0 dat m0ment wher we jus stared at each 0ther. ~aww.. sat ard, talk abt his left eye's iritati0n & he played wif pSp. 10:04am.. went up t0 d0wn hunt tents.

unf0rtunately, its reas0nably unreas0nable! d ppl did giv us directi0n t0 all d tent sh0p ard lavender. aft much speculati0n & white lies, we attacked 0n d $30 turned $28 tent fr 2. n0n waterpr0of th0ugh but we'll manage. we th0ught. rather hungry, b0ught sandwich wich c0st alm0st $3 wen we cud hav b0ught PRATA! hmpff! wasted s0me cash but its nice. s0 we t0ok 61 til harb0ur frnt t0 take d bus t0 sent0sa.. d bus trip was r0mantic. at dat p0int, i w0nder wats my life g0na b with0ut him.. err, w0rthleSs i tink. he adds sparkles t0 my days..

s0 rch d bus intrchnge, g0t d bus.. rch sent0sa, paid $3, he used his staff card & bang! i saw NURUL AINI! biatch. she's wrking at delifrance. kept staring at me.. wtf? u st0le apul alrdy, dis time im keeping my l0ve. wen we b0ard d blue line, she stil stared. erh! tkde keje pe?! came t0 imbiah, w0nder whether t0 take tram 0r walk. b0ught pau while deciding & tram it is but had t0 hide frm his frens. whakakaka!! rch palawan, head t0 d island 0ffsh0re. tent pitching time. yea campers. d sand was marvell0usly s0ft yet hard. c0ntradict?>> i kn0w.

we are experts by n0w. did it in leSs den 10 mins. gr8 j0b hunn. bunk in 0ur staff & a start t0 a peaceful relaxati0n.. finali. wif d hustle & bustle 0utside, we'r shelter. we started 0ff bad c0s its h0tneSs t0 d extreme but winds enlightened it. funny stuff in d tent, ph0totakings & blah blah blah. yet, i nvr feel iritated by him lately. mayb c0s im in a perfect m0od. he was jus s0 inn0cent dat its s0 cute. cant stand it, if 0nly he was a t0y. i'll chew him up! kidding dear.. u kn0w i l0ve euu rite? ((:

we br0ught extra t0ps jus in case we wana dive in d sea, wich we did fr a sh0rt while c0s its h0t & we decide t0 hyperventilate in d tent. hah! tima paSsed real fast wen u'r wif ur l0ve 0ne but i d0esnt matter as l0ng as he's beside me. in & 0ut d wind came b4 it p0ured like crazy. tks t0 our smartneSs, we had used d mat as d waterpr0of c0ver (: it wasnt s0 bad. we g0t c0sier til we alm0st fell asleep. it rained rather l0ng but it didnt affect us much. ph0to taking again.. :)

aft rain st0p, aft s0me chatting we became t0o tired. i meddle ard wif his face til he d0ze 0ff & i eft him t0 sh0wer. felt bad abt leaving but i had t0 c0s its 5+. kiSsed him gdbye & rushed. afraid abt his safety c0s s0me banglas kept walking ard d tentage. i was away frm a gd 30min c0s t0ilet packed. came bck, he was in d same p0siti0n, my jacket still c0vering him. h0ney, u'r jus s0 ad0rable! w0ke him up t0 get changed since we wana catch d f0untain tingy.. i help him ard while he change & he super MANJE.. like a small child cuddling up t0 his mum.. *snuggles*

help him wash his slippers b4 we did 0ur repacking.. we w0rked well t0 clean tings up. gr8 teamwrk, thumbs up! 0n d bridge, we had snapsh0ts. evrywher la actuali.. wash 0ur feets b4 taking d tram til imbiah. in d tram g0t funny aunty ((: k went t0 see d fl0wer fest, rather lame but t0ok pics again. time check, late!! ran t0 d f0untain.. darn, same sh0w like dat time & cudnt get a clear pic again! ARGH!! its 0k.. hunn was hungry & i had a c0uple 0f bucks t0 spare s0 i psych0 t0 mkn even wen i wasnt hungry. s0ri bie,had t0 lie c0s i didnt wana see euu starve.

b0ard d blue line & saw NURUL again! despiced her. see her evrywher, its like she's tailing me. ugh! k rch seah im, 0rder 2 spicy nasi g0reng. he mkn & st0ry abt his darling datuk :)) i mish ur datuk. wana buy drinks but he refused but wen i did buy, he still drank. wat a pretender *blueks* u m0nkey! i l0ve eu.. we had t0 part due t0 insufficient ezlink value. i had t0 bring 0ur tent h0me but im pr0ud dat we invested in dat tent. kiSsed him gdbye & slept peacefully in d bus.

btw, recently aft d last arguement.. i cant seem t0 get him 0ff my mind even f0r a sec. its like he's haunting me 0r smth. i nvr wna leave him, dats a sure ting. g0d f0rbid c0s i d0 love him ever s0 dearly.. he means s0 much, much m0re den any 0f my ex-b0yfie. i truly cherish him.. if 0nly he knew h0w much he meant t0 my life. im nvr g0na leave ur side. we pull thru evryting 2gether. ups 0r d0wns, we'll c0nquer it.. dats my v0w t0 our r'ship. if u ask me n0w, if he were t0 ever leave me.. i'd b in dire need f0r a shelter c0s he's my evryting & if he leaves, a part 0f my life is taken away t0o.. i gtg attend t0 my b0dy.. smth raptured i gueSs, tkcr l0ve life..

2007-02-24T09:10:00.002+08:00

fabol0usly amazing.. it unbearable! firsty, i th0ught dat i'd l0ve utterly h0rrible c0s n0 make up & t0o tanned but it turned 0ut perfectly great. futherm0re, due t0 d editing 0f my l0vely preci0us hunn.. perfect0 was d 0nly w0rd dat i cud tink 0f t0 describe it.. h0ney, u'r simply amazing. i attracts me bey0nd my wildest dreams.. u never failed t0 make me smile endleSsly.. thanks f0r d m0ments shared...well, here are a c0uple 0f snaps. cant br0adcast all ((: wel, dis pic abv is d perfect pic ever.. esp wif d sunset..

he l0oks ad0rably cute here..dats d island dat h0lds f0nd mem0rieshe made my t0p gl0w.. tks hunn..
he l0oks hawt here..*chuckles*dats all guys. h0pe u l0ved my recent p0sts. ~hee.. & hunn, really.. i enj0yed my days. wif d pics turning 0ut perfectly nice wif ur terrific editing, n0thing can seem m0re perfect.. tkcr dear. enj0y ur day at w0rk, we'll meet up s0on. l0ve ya..

2007-02-23T11:53:00.000+08:00

21st february 20o7
reuni0n.. i supp0sed. end 0f time 0ff..

gueSs s0me kn0ws alrdy abt us.. darns. secrets revealed! shud i b glad? wel, we met up aft my wrk c0s he's feeling entirely d0wn. we had a maj0r argument d day bef0re & he had a test t0day but he didnt manage t0 get d results dat he wanted. d ting is dat i didnt kn0w dat he even t0ok up a driving less0n alrdy.. was supp0sed t0 b a surprise. s0meh0w, he blurted 0ut 0f sadneSs.. wel, we went f0r dinner 2gether since im dire need 0f h0r fun.

hee.. we went t0 fareast wif him c0mplaining abt h0w upset he was. ): ~aww. i feel terrible f0r him th0ugh.. at d sh0p, i b0ught d h0r fun & head t0 sit 0utside KFC. he went t0 buy cheesy fries & whip p0tat0 in KFC. b0ught gulp frm 7/11. bl0ated aft dat.. ugh! sat der talking abt whether i shud mit him tmr t0 spend d day in sent0sa.. i agreed abt speculating f0r a while. hunn sent me h0me but he hang0ut at bB cl0ck t0wer fr awhile b4 he went h0me..

22nd february 2o07
wat m0re c0uld i have asked f0r??.. ((:

m0st mem0rable day 0f all 0ur l0ve j0urney.. superstati0usly incredible. we met at 10:45am in harb0ur frnt. while waitin fr him, teck ghee pri 2 students assemble in frnt 0f me. darlings! claSs 0uting in sent0sa, h0w lucky lil t0ts. k, he came l0oking as dashing as ever.. we head t0 viv0 t0 get d tickets. came there, saw s0 many 0f his frens n his girl fren save his day s0 he didnt need t0 pay c0s he's a staff. haha! but waited l0ng fr d staff card. sure, its w0rth waiting.. den we went t0 st0ck up in Giant.

wen i kiSsed him at d escalat0r, i saw d label dat says ' so refreshing'. haha! c0ntradicts. he might have thought dat i was sick f0r kiSsing him & saying dat ((: we j0ked abt it. we b0ught 0re0, 0range juice, p0tato chips. $5+ 0nly. amazing.. we went bck up t0 b0ard d train til beach stn. great, train rather spaci0us. rch der, we b0ard d tram til palawan & t0ok pics. tent pitchin in palawan was funny esp wif him. we wer great pitchers!! we arranged 0ur tings in d tent & laid d0wn fr a while c0s d heat was darn h0t. came bck 0ut sweating buckets! yucks..

)): crazy tings hapen in dat tent.. (: damn u hunn. we changed & head f0r a swim. ive nvr spent a day by d sea wif any0ne special b4. having felt it, its unexplainable. cherished dat m0ment wif hiim. played ard in d sea, j0ked abt bef0re getting hungry & bck t0 d tent. munching, taking a break b4 heading bck 0ut. he s0meh0ws kept feeling d chill wen in d sea. p0or thang.. ard 4+ we went bck t0 swim again.. dis time, d heat didnt reli get t0 us.

he wr0te names in d sand, i t0ok pics 0f it.. we t0ok amazing pics bc0s d sunset was terrific. sunbathing wif him was sweetes ting ever happen t0 me. we t0ok l0ads 0f crazy pics.. but kiSsing him was salty c0s 0f d sea water. hee~ reli, i cant describe d feeling in dis bl0g as i'll take d entire space. i have t0 tel d st0ry strait 0ff hand c0s its s0 r0manticali amazing. ard 6+ we packed up & s0me peahen came. we head t0 d washr0om wif me taking s0 long t0 t0uch up.. s0ri bucuk.. we wait fr d tram t0 take us t0 imbiah & we walked t0 d waterf0untain.

we'r enthrilled by d huge merli0n! d sh0w was great, i l0ved d fire scene. unf0rtunate fr us, cam batt was l0w. shud'v br0ught extras.)): having him by my side is d m0st unf0rgettably sweet ting.. d rest jus adds up t0 make d day perfect. h0pe he enj0yed d day as i did. i l0ved evry sec t0gether & jus wish all d time in d w0rld wud freeze while we cater t0 each 0ther. ive t0 admit.. d days 0f arguement made me l0ve euu even m0re.. d 0nly reas0n dat i need d time 0ff was t0 make us tink wat life's like with0ut each 0ther & t0 reli tink thru abt d rship.. experiences 0f d past made me afraid dat i might l0se u fr real..

he cudnt send me h0me & even if he cud, i didnt want t0 c0s he's wrking m0rning shift tmr.. d final m0ments in d bus was preci0us like nvr bef0re. i kiSsed him gdbye & alight near st marg's b4 174 came.. slept all d way. rch hm, sms him & later chat wif him.. said gdnights sprinkled wif hugs & kiSses b4 g0ing t0 our fairytale land... i l0ve him m0re than any guy ive ever l0ved. thank euu dear fr making dis plan. 0therwise i wud hav been stuck at h0me since i wasnt wrking... ((: i l0ve eu.

2007-02-19T15:52:00.000+08:00

life's flickering evr n0w & den.. i shud b c0ntented, shudnt i? having a guy wh0's dev0ted, a family dat cares & frens wh0 l0ves me. i sudnt even asked f0r m0re.. right?.. im l0st. h0peleSsly l0st like as th0ugh im stuck in an an0ther dimensi0n 0f many l0ve fen0mena.. y izit even happening t0 me?.. gueSsed im never d str0ng girl dat i used t0 b tks t0 all d breakups & heartaches dat last f0r m0nths l0ng..

am i th0r0ughly dragging him d0wn wif me? i s0o truly tink dat im burdening him wif my super-eg0 self-centredneSs. dammit! y cant tings b a wayy l0t simpler like bck in d pri sch days.. tings pe0ple tell me kept b0thering my mind & i definitely n0t d kinda girl wh0 will filter 0ut tings whenever im being t0ld t0 listen. shucks. im d0ne f0r it. d0omed.. i fail t0 please any0ne. even myself. devastated.

niwae, i jus came bck h0me frm sent0sa. family day kinda stuff t0day, real fun. we came real early & hawt sex ( guys i mean ) wer like EVERYWHERE! dats great. futherm0re, hunn wrking t0day but didnt get t0 see him but i s0 t0tali ad0re d unif0rm. d c0lours are ad0rably cute c0s i [̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] pastel c0lours! k, we drive in t0 palawan & d idi0tic admissi0n guy tryna hit 0n me. unf0rtunately, my dad d0esnt like him. t0o bad dear.. u've been rejected.

k, d beach was super packed wif mats & m0re hawt guys!! im desperate, i supp0sed. im super sick 0f my life dat im like in a maj0r need t0 scream in a bucket full 0f watevr! darn it. sun tanning & sun bathing, fab0lous c0s i finali felt dat my pr0bs are dr0wned by d sea currents. pleasant feeling. i ease d pr0bs 0f my head f0r once.. b0ys are just traumas.. at least d beach day 0ut was great.

h0t guys tryna b pimping but i aint feeling it.. s0 it began t0 drizzle s0 i went t0 sh0wer up s0 we can pack up & head h0me earlier. sands were like all 0ver my butt! dammit. k, i g0t it all 0ff den my wh0le family had lunch in d tent. cute sia.. we ate sambal telur wif sambal g0reng & rice.. my dad crack a lame j0ke! its funny th0ugh c0s d wh0le family laughed crazily.. aft dat, we r0und abt sent0sa bef0re driving pass m0unt faber. den i went h0me.. i need t0 bathe! tkcr l0vely..

2007-02-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

im at h0me 0nce again.. like sheesh finali! if n0t im 0nly seen at w0rk & i'll 0nly b wearing BLACK!! i despice dat c0lour n0w tks t0 w0rk c0s b0th wrkplaces expects me t0 b unif0rmed in black. ugh! digustingly un-impressive.. ap0logises c0s dis is g0na b a l0ng bl0g. niwaes, i pick him up frm werk yesterday but he seemed estranged by me! like wat d hell! if u d0nt like my presence, tell me strait 0ff hand.. u d0nt need t0 hide it. even if i cant take it, all i c0uld ever d0 is t0 bite my lips real hard & scream deep within..

kk, we'll talk abt d 16 feb 1st.. i werk as per n0rmal & went f0r late night dinner wif my dear family at d new newt0n circus f0odcourt. d f0od wasnt bad th0ugh c0s i expected d w0rst! whakaka!! im a meanie.. :X bef0re dat, we went d0wn t0 Mustafa.. went 0n a basic needs sh0pping spree. k, i admit we g0t a lil carried away til we b0ught a new SCANNER!! it was me & my br0's idea! keke.. we need it desperately.. haha! i wana eat d satay again, superbly mouth watering..

i reli enj0yed16 feb, werk was great but entirely tiring c0s b0ss came d0wn & rearranged evryting wich lead us t0 wrking 5 times faster. i felt sick c0s i havent eat at all & im running like idi0t evryware. darns! but im c0ol. just feel lethargic wen i had to walk ard Mustafa but gerek c0s get t0 cuci mate abit. :P k, n0w we shall c0nt abt yesterday & h0w upset i was!

i came t0 pick hunn up early c0s i s0rta hitch-hike my bestie's fren's bike.. i didnt wana b late c0s bef0re dat i went f0r keje kahwin.. s0 dis guy sent me til viv0. dats sweet, i 0we him 0ne. wel, i rch viv0 & chat wif farhan, askin abt my nxt schedule. j0ke abt bef0re rushin t0 t0ilet. waited til 4:30pm.. wel, d least he cud d0 was t0 say>>hi bie, tks f0r pickin me up 0r smth. but n0, he jus l0oked at me asking me t0 wait & walked 0ff. like wat?.. d0nt i at least get a HI!! d least i did wen u pik me up frm werk was t0 giv u a kiSs. i bet i d0 deserve s0me appreciati0n. hmpff.

nvm dat. aft he changed, he didnt even came up t0 me.. he walked s0o0o far!! wat? ashamed daat im ur gf?.. like wats d issue?.. if u'r s0 embarassed dat im ur gf, wats d use 0f making me URS?! i d0nt get it. i didnt even get ap0logise f0r dat. terrible. utterly disappp0inted. aft dat, he even said smth dat pierced me hard. i've never been hurt by him bef0re & i never expected dat he'll d0 dat. shud i ever f0rgive him?.. )): he tried t0 make my day thru0ut in viv0 til harb0ur fr0nt & bck t0 viv0. watch d sunset in silence 0n d r0oft0p..

aft d sunset, chat f0r a while bef0re we head 0ff t0 ys.. bump int0 his fren at d intrchnge. eeuww.. kk, b0ard 855 & still angry wif him but tried t0 hide it.. & his buddy wana mit him s0 i jus tag al0ng. hang 0ut at maC & listen t0 lame j0kes. met s0me 0f his 0ther frens. maC incident ( cant tell, super sick! ugh!! ). dey acc0mpanied me while i wait f0r 852. bus came s0 i 'climbed 0ff' aft d bus. sat in d bus tinking abt my future in studies & hiim. will der b any 'US' wen p0ly starts? will der b any 'US' wen we are b0th 0ccupied wif werk?.. will 'US' end s0meday?..

2007-02-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

hey peeps.. haha! had many pics taken jus n0w in tyan :)) .. btw, t0day's werk was great except f0r shar0n's attitude pr0b. maureen was a darling & s0 was lilian.. l0ads 0f j0king abt.. had a fun time packing & unpacking st0cks frm apri0ri & betty barclay.. i l0ve it!! hunn came by t0 d sh0p as a surprise. th0ught dat it was super sweet c0s he jus returned frm a j0b intrview in sent0sa :)) pray dat he'll make it thru.. b c0nfident ya bie?..

he was incredible c0s he came at ard 5+ & waited f0r me til 8:20pm c0s i finished late.. s0ri hunn. wait f0r my payday den we splurge k? ~hee.. reli, u'r s0 sweet! i truly apriciate it al0t.. i sent him 0ff h0me & he b0ught me mCchicken!! since i didnt eat d wh0le day.. thank euu bie!! k aft dat i b0ard d bus, 4eva kene disturb by guys. reli cant stand it seyy.. i g0tta eliminate dem.. guys are pain, i tell ya..

btw, yesterday valentine's day was magnificent.. i mean, we didnt spent it at s0mewhere grand but he came by my h0use with0ut warning & said," p0stman! p0stman!" wat a surprise darls! l0ved it. he stayed by my h0use til 7+.. dumbness c0s i was eating s0me krepek in sleeveless shirt & sh0rts wen he came. but he was iritating in d 1st place but wen balik time, he was terrific. had a lil wrestling match g0in 0n in my h0use.. hahaha! i kicked him t0o hard & scratched him REAL bad! s0ri hunn.. i dint mean t0.. )):

wen i sent him h0me til bt gmbk stati0n. he was pissing me al0ng d way til we sat a d lake area.. chat abt 0ur life difficulties, 0ur future & 0ur pr0bs.. talkin tings thru seemed t0 make tings al0t easier t0 handle.. tks f0r sharing wif me.. at least me can settle tings straightf0rwardly right n0w.. finali i h0pe! k la, nth much t0 update but i reli enj0yed my day t0day & yesterday esp.. praises t0 euu hunn f0r d preci0us m0ments. im praying, h0ping & wishing dat it'll never ends & ders always m0re t0 c0me.. ((: pics 0f d day bel0w..

maureen tinks i l0ok uber hawt stuff!!..((:lilian cant help smiling at dis pic..
haha..i was entirely b0red t0 DEATH s0 i tried 0n d new black t0ps frm betty barclay. my fav0urite designer c0s her designs are very intricate yet refined. l0ved. g0tta bl0g 0ut n0w.. my hunn wants me t0 put d0wn d ph0ne s0 dat i'll sleep & st0p bl0gging! hah! k la, bye bl0ggie..

2007-02-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

i jus receive an sms abt 15min ag0 frm my long time bestie, iira.. she asked smth dat seems to struck me deep.. esp wen its VALENTINE'S DAY!! & im waitin f0r hunn's ph0necall.. ):

" in evry situati0n, there's a part in life when eu l0ve s0me0ne but u'r n0t ready f0r advancement yet..h0w w0uld eu handle it?wat if u'r alrdy in that l0ve & realised its alrdy t0o late?.."

i was like t0tali stunned c0s im s0meh0w feel that i might b g0ing thru d exact same issue. am i just lying t0 myself by being in a r'ship?.. izit bc0s i needed security & endless tender l0ve frm s0me0ne, theref0re making me accept a guy?.. dat questi0n she asked made me p0nder.. *sigh* i realised that i've made many mistakes in life.. i've made l0ts 0f wr0ng ch0ices wich lead me t0 bear all d c0nsequences.. n0w i tryna pr0ve t0 myself dat im able t0 withstand all this..;

" dah lama pintu hatiku ditutup..rapi
tak ku terfikir ia akan terbuka semula..
terbukanya pintu tanpa ku sedari
tiba-tiba terasa hangat di dada
namun..ku takut..
takut utk menyambut kedatangannya
takut diriku ini dihina..
takut diri ini dijadikan pengemis cinta
takut diri ku dikecewakan lagi
selagi ketakutan yang terpendam ini ada
takkan dapat diriku ini pergi kemana-mana
ku ingin menghampuskan segalanya
tetapi, ku tak terdaya..
inginku meminta pert0longan
alangkah sedih..kerna tiada yang memberi
sudah nasibku sebegini..
sering menghancurkan diri sendiri.."

2007-02-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

finali g0t h0ld 0f d c0mp.. recently had an0ther squabble wif hiim. hais.. l0ads 0f misundrstnding. but its all settled( i h0pe!..) s0ri hunn. i knw lately ive been tired & d slightest tings might get me pissed at euu eventh0ugh u'r jus tryna act sweet 0r r0mantic. truly am s0rii ya..

w0rk has been making me t0o occupied dat i hardly have family time & i hardly spent time chattin wif hiim 0n d ph0ne. ppd's running l0w & i cant talk much t0 him. *s0bb* i misz d m0ments wif euu bie. pr0mise dat V-Day shall b my dev0ted day t0 euu k?.. ((: l0ve. tmr will b wrking at paperppl in viv0, c0nfirm kene kacau by ryan & nich0las again.. if n0t nani!! whakaka!! btw hunn, did u giv mummy & papa d b0oks?.. i can dapatkan f0r euu again tau.. ((: ladeedums~

k, werk 2day was gr8. cust0mers wer fantastic!! s0me t0ok pics wif me & 0thers wana intr0 me t0 their s0ns/nephews?!! hahaha!! im impreSsed! 0tw h0me, sum matreps wana kenal2. hah! t0ld them 0ff! suckers, im taken! t0o bad.. btw, yesterday was fab0lous t0o c0s hunn came d0wn t0 pass me DvDs. sweetypie.. u'r such a darling. eventh0ugh we argue d day bef0re, u acted as if everyting was fine.. (: i w0nder y u ch0ose me? im n0t capable 0f bringing u d happineSs dat u sh0wer up0n me.. u deserved better. i mean dat.. duncha agree baby?..

nvm. i g0tta sleep early.. getting dark circles! h0rrend0us!! i cant stand d sight 0f it.. it depressing me deeply.. ( heart stabbed deep within!! ) basicali, i bl0g jus t0 ease d b0red0m wenevr im h0me c0s evry0ne's asleep. f.y.i, evry0ne i ap0logise if ive been cranky lately. h0pe im f0rgiven. jus tired & cant b b0thered t0 entertain j0kes. futherm0re, ive n0t had a pr0per meal dis past days ( had h0ney chicky pau 0nly.. ) im depriveed frm a RIGHT MEAL! no time i tell u!! NO TIME!!

dats it.. im g0na sleep n0w aft staring at d pic dat hunn left in d pSp.. d merged pic 0f him & mine! sweet thang hubby.. l0ve ya! rmbr my curry puff made wif TLC.. u STILL owe me th0se m0uth watering delicacies.. hahaahaaa!! if g0t time k? if n0t, i'll c0me d0wn t0 mummy's sh0p wen im n0t wrking k bie?.. tkcr l0ved 0nes.. bl0g again wen d c0mp is within my grasp! 0r wen ayah buys me a LAPTOP f0r p0ly! yeah me.. ((:

much l0ve,
DiLa :)

2007-02-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

the 9th 0f february 20o7
dreadful turned l0vable day..

im s0 entirely glad dat i met him 2day.. like, d feeling was wayy different den usual. i had t0 g0 fr an interview rite at 5:30 but i called up terence t0 change d time t0 7pm c0s i was utterly depressed 0ver my unaffecti0nately-digustingly-appaulding results.. wel, hunn came h0me kinda late aft helpin his mum at d sh0p. plan t0 mit ard 6:45pm 0r 7pm. iritanting as he was, he called me wen i was sh0wering. ugh! dun mind hiim th0u..

quickly g0t change & flag d0wn 77.. listened t0 s0ngs in hid pSp. time check, a sure-g0na-b-late. i called terence up t0 tell dat i'll d late c0s i was seri0usly STUCK in a maj0r human+traffic jam. i reach dh0by ghaut, hunn was der.. ~aww.. ad0rable munchkin. s0 cute. he w0re dis b0xed-printed sh0rt sleeve shirt. super ad0rable. he had his hair side part, even m0re t0 die f0r.

kk, enuf abt him.. we rush( s0rt 0f..) t0 d interview tingy.. he waited 0utside while i had d intrview & d ph0tosh0ts. darling.. i turn 0ut fab0lous! yea me! d m0delling c0mpany l0ves me. great ya.. i hav an upc0ming meet up nxt tues. ((: s0 left d r0om, met hunn again b4 g0ing jalan2. he wana g0 h0me but i hvnt spend enuf time wif him lately. s0 esplanade, here we c0me.

al0ng d way, we b0ught 2 pau, whip p0tato & 10o plus. haha! dats funny, an incident 0ccured but t0o lazy t0 type 0ut (: we walk d wr0ng r0ute but its sweet c0s we fed each 0ther f0od. ~aww..* blush.smitten* finali f0und 0ur way til esplanade, sat f0r awhile b4 taking 77 bck t0 Bb. in d bus, we wer nuisance t0 public. made t0 much n0ise. hee~ i enj0yed d ride. i t0p up my ezlink & he sent me h0me.. we b0ught pizZas al0ng d way.. i saw my s0-called ex. yucks! matrep!!

chat all d way & my h0use had n0body s0 we sat at d ter0wong tingy b4 i send him 0ff t0 d buzstp t0 take his bus bck h0me.. darling, i l0ve euu.. u cheer me up aft a dreadful day tks t0 my results. i appreciate it. i l0ve u t0o much. * l0ve always.. never wana leave euu.. pr0mise. ((: *muacks!

2007-02-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

i feel s0 sick rite n0w.. as if my w0rld g0na end!! i s0 wishing dat my scanner still w0rks s0 d least i cud d0 is add s0me freaking ph0tos t0 my bl0g & d fact dat my 0ld digi cam is sp0ilt & i havent had d time t0 fix it up.. dammit la.. my results are s0 fcuked up..i dun like it at all. i hate it. aft all d sacrifices i made by n0t getting enuff sleep jus t0 c0ver tw0 freaking chapters dat i dun undrstnd & dis is wat i receive.. aint fair at all!! i pr0test.

h0wever, i still d0 need t0 c0ngrads myself c0s i g0t A2 f0r my humanities wich is hardly ever p0ssible since sec3!! i either failed 0r jus passed. wel at least my malay is an A1 wif 0ral distincti0n. ~phew! d rest are mixes 0f Cs & Ds. digustingly true.. my eff0rts are n0t entire sh0wn but i shud b rather satisfied c0s i cud make it t0 p0ly.. )): my family knws dat im d kinda pers0n wh0 never is satisfied wif my achievements c0s i always feel dat ders d w0rd excellence dat c0mes aft great results.

niwae, im meeting my hunn later. h0pe der'll b n0 m0re arguement. all i want is t0 mit him, hug him ever s0 much & kiss him tellin him dat his everyting dat i ever need in a guy.. i have s0me m0delling interview later in ParkMall. he's acc0mpanying.. sweet darls. i g0na call my hunn n0w. miszing him t0o much. l0ve my mum f0r acc0mpanying me wen i c0llected my results. U'R THE BEST IBU!! i l0ve euu!! *bl0w kiSses*

2007-02-09T10:04:00.000+08:00

i seri0usly dun wana b arguing wif euu h0ney.. its painful. it ends up bl0cking my mind fr d entire day.. i cant stand it. i jus want a pr0per r'ship with0ut having t0 argue every single m0ment. painful heart wrenching.. futherm0re, im frightened t0 d utter m0st limits c0s i dun0 wats d 0utc0me 0f my results. its ag0nising.. petrified if i dun get d right fulfilment. y must life b s0 t0ugh 0n every0ne lately?.. pressure! t0rture! im super afraid t0 g0 t0 sch.. jus tinking abt it makes me feel as th0ugh ive been deprived fr0m d w0rd "LIFE" since like F0REVER!! 0uh deary, im s0 s0 s0 s0 s0 scared. i need huggies & kissy kissy!! ~aww.. i need my mummy!! daddy, br0ther & sister! n0t f0rgetting my EVER-SO irritating B0YFRIEND!! argh! i wana space 0ut in my r0om & i p0nder abt d upc0ming t0rture at 2:30pm. shucks. f0oking dammit! wish i cud tell d future & h0w much charms it brings me.. )): ):

2007-02-08T16:17:00.000+08:00

lainkali klau nak hantar testi tapi tak0t 0rg lain nmpk, JGN hantar. kan buang mase je.. kan b0doh! da hantar abe tu delete sendiri.. 0rg tnye tak nak mengaku abe nak push d blame kt 0rg lain.. nanti bl0g pun same. da type 'sweet sweet' pas tu delete pasal tak0t sape sape bace. kan puas hati jgn type. siak arh! klau u tak0t ur p0mpan lain bace, JGN bl0g pasal i!! faham?!.. u pikir i ni b0doh pe?!! t0long ar eu.. tk buat i binggit tk sah kape?.. i penat, u tambahkan lagi. i tak maafkan, u kate i ape plak. wats up wif u seyy?.. i btul btul tk reti.. i bukan nak ungkit tapi u yg bangkitkan masalah. brape lame u nak i tahan dgn u ni?.. seri0us ar u.. i tak tau mcm mane nk t0long euu pun.. u lain drp 0rg yg i kenal dulu.. i menyesal seyy.. u pikir la masak masak. atur ur life dulu.. we need time 0ff. definately.

2007-02-08T12:57:00.000+08:00

darlings..i misz d w0rld 0f techn0logy & H0ME!! i misz d pleasures 0f staying h0me & d0ing nothing. im wrking 2 j0bs. i cant c0mplaint much c0s i enj0y b0th 0f dem evnth0ugh its tires me 0ut! phew~ paperppl has been gr8 esp wen farhan keeps giving me pers0nal guidance. tyan kinda sucks c0s all chinese & d dey'r extreme racist, dey blame eu f0r d mistakes dat dey make. f.y.i, im n0t racist alryt! my besties are chinese t0o & i heart dem l0ads!! right sammie?..

k,paperppl has dis upc0ming design competiti0n. interested parties pls c0ntact me 0r u can l0g on to paperpeople-shop.com. haha! im bec0ming a freaking pr0moter. but seri0usly, i need u guys t0 help me get artistic ppl c0s if u d0, i'll get incentives & theref0re i can treat u guys! really! niwae, stupid yan was hitting 0n me ystrday. sickening! but he's s0 cute.*blush~ d meeting ystrday went fine & werk was terrific but lil sales th0ugh. g0t many num fr sure & syahirah+fren came by.. farhan+hafiz came by. yea, visit0rs! i saw jean w0ng!!

ppl c0me & g0.. get chased by 5 different guys c0s dey want my num la, want me t0 j0in new face ads la..blah blah blah. nvm. i l0ve d attenti0n im getting. aft werk, darling pick me up.. he shudnt c0s its alrdy late but he th0ught dat i was angry wif him s0 he picked me up.. wth! dats sweet. so ya, b0ard d train wif him & his fren. he SM0KE!! u lied! u'r always lying. i cant stand u, i mean it seyy. u iritate d hell outta me.. simply undefined!

so ya..send him all d way til interchange & g0t scared tinking dat der might n0t b anym0re bus fr me t0 g0 h0me! argh! but der was s0 ya.. get t0 spend s0me time wif him. b0rrowed his pSp s0 i w0nt fall asleep in d bus. tks dear. well i rch h0me ard 12:27am s0 ya. wen t0 bathe b4 talking t0 him til 4am t0day c0s i aint wrking!! finali s0me pr0per resting at h0me. well i gueSs dats all.. im still spacing 0ut, need m0re rest. l0ve!

2007-02-03T15:18:00.000+08:00

2nd 0f february..

f0oking hell..last min change plans. wat d hell sak?.. wasted evry0ne's time. m0rons.. hate euu ppl. cant u undrstnd d fact dat im wrking?.. y d0 i always have t0 c0mply t0 0ther's needs. piSsed me entirely. super iritating.. k, wrk was perfectly fine wif mauren & shar0n. crazy funl0ving ppl.. in their 40s but crazy 0f cute lil bears.

started at 11:30am & chat wif bapak til i rch there.. julez called askin whether im werkin.. haha! she's anxi0us 0ver d milan trip wif mrs tan, 0wner 0f tyan. cust0mers were utter 0utrage c0s s0me 0f dem sp0ke languages dat we didnt undrstnd :/ pure idi0ts. asked my manager if i cud go 0ff early since i hav t0 meet him & nip0ns. let 0ff by 7:30pm.

gueSs wat? he waited fr me at palais while i was at taka. i even said dat im at t0wer A, wait bside 7/11. WTH?! nvm. met him & was t0ld dat ppl f0und 0ut abt us. argh! burden t0 d ears. 0ther ting was, HE LIED!! called me at ard 4 sayin dat he jus rch h0me & dat he's g0ing t0 bathe but actuali he went 0ut! if its d 1st time dat he lied, i'd b fine but n0. h0w upsetting.. v0ted as 1 0f my w0rst day EVER!!

still angry at him fr lying & nip0ns fr changin plans with0ut tellin & ppl g0ssiping. hate it.. h0w d0 i stand dis?.. i went 0ff fr my claSs bBq. i cant c0nt fightin wif him rite c0s i w0nt want my frens t0 hav bad th0ughts. sacrifice. d pit was alive c0s ive misz my sec 5's. chat ard, t0ok pics & junk f0od etc. sammy br0ught ben al0ng & shuk br0ught zul, gay boy.

ben has his 0wn c0mpany. ben & zul are 20yrs old. retard lads. haha! ard 11+ m0st 0f dem left while faiz, shuk, suat, zul, elaine, him & me stayed. want t0 expl0re d maze but elaine was afraid s0 we walked & j0ked til we rch d waterbreaker. s0 freezing c0ld. ~bbrrr.. sat til 3am b4 me & him g0 t0ilet* hints. (: ard 4am, d rest went shisha-ing. me & him walked all d way til pasir ris mrt. his mulut s0 cabul. tk tau diam wen jln pass sungei api api.. damn.

abg wan frm bt btk 7/11 werkin at paris ris mrt 7/11 & he's engaged. c0ngrads. chat wif him while b0ught pau & mashed p0tat0. wait fr bus yet im stil freezing. bus came & slept awhile in d bus. rch d intrchnge b4 taking an0ther bus h0me.. slept in d bus til bt btk. had high fever s0 i called farhan sayin i cant c0me t0 wrk.. n0 gaji again.. niwae, i jus quite w0ke up.. nk mandi arr.. bye..

2007-02-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

s0 hating hidayat. wats passed is past s0 start 0ver arh.. wasnt my fault dat i reject eu.. u made me t0 do dat tks t0 ur bhavi0ur. i rch hm at 2+ dis m0rning c0s hang0ut wif d nip0ns at alif t0 mkn. haisz.. upset my day la dayat.

wel, t0day werkin wif farhan. juliah is s0 sickening! she calculate d st0cks & said dat der was 0nly $70 sales but i calculated as $218.70. wat n0nsense? she tink my math is dat h0rrible huh? wats her issue sia? tks farhan kept saving him.. l0ve him ((: u always t0long me wenevr i rushed 0ff. tks swithart. i start wrk at 4pm & end at 9. haha! we j0ke abt d wh0le day.. layan cust0mer. i had t0 wear s0 pr0per c0s s0me BIG SH0Ts coming d0wn.

((: farhan kept praising dat i l0ok s0 darling & we t0ok many pics in his hp & cam. hehe! his fren came 0ver t0 d sh0p & i 0vercharge 2 cust0mer. a chinese girl b0ught a pen fr $5 instead 0f $4.50. i rmbr d prices fr t0pman, dammit. den dis malay guy g0t charge extra $22.50!! w0w! al0t but he dun0. 0mg! pity him, s0ri yaa.. halal kan je, saye baru keje d fareast. ((:

ard 7+, bie came aft getting his results.. s0 i went 0ff wif him t0 take ne0prints. aww.. 1 mth alrdy? t0o fast. i aband0n farhan fr 20min. blueks!.. hate u. (; d st0cks taking was funny c0s i kept g0ing,' farhan.. farhan.. farhan..' he kept laughin c0s i didnt st0p disturbing him. calculate end st0ck b4 g0in 0ff t0 blend inn t0 meet syahid, bie tag. need t0 discuss d bisnes pr0posals 0ver dinner.

thaipusam, packed up d prinsep area. saw isis, hady & many 0ther healthwise darlings dat i misz evr s0 badly.. i misz d spicy nasi g0reng t0o. p0wer, spicy & hawt! k, aft mkn we b0ard d 2nd last train. s0metimes i find it hard t0 undrstnd him & ders times wher he's just d sweetest guy 0n earth. i w0nder whether he ever realised dat im always there fr him in time 0f crisis. its just dat he hardly shares.. hmm.. ): wished u'd share s0 i'll knw wat b0thers euu..

" Happy 2nd Month Anniversary "
to my darling..

2007-02-01T12:01:00.000+08:00

31 january 2007, sp0re vs thailand
& 1st february 2007 (=

fab0lous! h0ney tks fr d lying & surprise. tks ya.. i f0rgive u fr lying c0s it paid 0ff. u had d tickets yet eu didnt tel me?.. h0w cud u..u, i mean i.. i l0ve euu la. tks dear..its d surprise 0f d century. step nk tgk m0vie padahal u g0t d tickets. wth! his dat0k sent him t0 my place. dat0k s0 cute seyy. we t0ok 106 til t0wn c0s i need t0 head t0 fareast t0 c0llect my pay frm yani.. saw my pri sch fren in d bus.

in t0wn we saw erwin, bt view pri guy. c0llect pay b4 headin strait til kallang. eyes pain like hell.. i was stuck in a sea 0f red & white bl0od. sp0re rawks my w0rld. d place was fantastic. he surprised me in d middle 0f d kallang intrchnge! argh! i rmbr jumpin & hugging him still screamin, unbelieving. wel, yan k0l me asking whether im watching d match s0 i pass d hp t0 bie. day chat & wanted t0 g0 together..

bad idea. yat despice me. wait fr bapak & judd b4 g0in stadium. its 0nly 6pm but its alm0st pack. guys, s0ccer! ugh! pain, my eyes pain. t0o many h0ttie esp d eurasian lads wh0 were t0plesS. ~sizzle. im n0t a fanatic s0 i r0ughly undrst0od d match & rules. like d part wen dey hear d whistle g0in,' beep..beep..beep beep beep..beep beep beep beep..beep..beep', dey'll sh0ut but0! whakaka! funny. & d referee alwys gets kut0k..

d bdk2 sitting behind us als0 vry sp0ntane0us. gerek ar.. made frens, bump int0 old frens. l0ve. thais wer weaklings, 5 injured within min but sp0re still w0n by penalty 2-1. thais walked 0ff pit fr 15min, waste time. but we still w0n s0 i didnt matter much. d match was m0re dramatic dat i had imagined. enj0yed it.. d kallang wave & d feeling dat dis is d last match in d stadium b4 i will b dem0lished. d mem0ries. peri0d. glad c0s n0w we have t0 jus pray fr d 2nd league.

s0 d nip0ns plan t0 mkn d bt timah al ameen. we walked til intrchnge, s0 packed theref0re s0me t0ok d bus 1st leavin me, bapak & bie. i saw d t0psh0p guy wh0m i dun0 d name, talk t0 him fr a while b4 we b0ard 961 & chat wif zul in d bus. we alight at my sch c0s yat change plan. i need t0ilet badly s0 went t0 c0ronati0n shell & fadli piss me 0ff. s0me idi0ts at shell tried t0 flirt wif me. fuckers! s0 we flag a cab til gmbk t0 mkn at alif.

i ate nasi pattaya but n0t much appetite.. vry c0ld & yat was a pain. wel at least he sent bie h0me 0n his bike. i walked h0me. AL0NE. pity myself but i needed t0 b al0ne, walked pass tasik evn wen its alrdy 1+am. sp0oky but n0 ch0ice, i prefer l0neliness den havin s0me0ne wh0 w0nt cherish my sacrifices. ): d0nt sympathise wif me.. rch hm, chat wif bie fr a while b4 sleeping at 6am. =/

2007-01-31T10:20:00.000+08:00

updatin u guys abt wat happen ystrday. s0ry ppl late entry.. wel, its a tues s0 had t0 g0 t0 wrk rite? haha! k, managemnt fr paperppl is terrible c0s d meeting/payday was supp0sed t0 b at 9:30am but 9 :46am, der was 0nly salbiah, ain0n, filzah & me. 15min later farhan came & ap0logised but wat?!! suffiyan jus w0ke up! cant accept!

nvm. s0 we enter d sh0p 1st, l0okin at d new st0cks & irfan came.. damn he's cute stuff. ain0n, filzah, salbiah & i went t0 get sum f0od s0 i b0ught 2 h0neychicky pau. wen we came bck, we saw suffiyan den juliah & yani was d last. intan wasnt der c0s 0f sch. n0ne ap0logise fr their lateness. ridicul0us. 0mg!! meeting began pr0per at 11am.. h0rrend0us.

discussin abt d 24th Feb & beats s0ciety wif b al0ngside us.. w0ah! bapak, elfi & darling called & sms but cudnt rply c0s i was bside irfan & he kept smilin at me.. aww.. cair sak! kk, meeting ended & i rush 0ff t0 mit h0ney but he said dat its 0k, he d0esnt tink dat ders any tickets left fr t0night's match. damn sia.. i knw fr sure he l0ves s0ccer. i was sad c0s he cant watch it LIVE. argh! s0 i went strait t0 wrk at wisma.. stati0ned al0ne & i punch in at 1:35pm.. early sak.

kinda 0k c0s i chat wif him.. den i spent my time chatting wif din, aidil & dis 1 t0psh0p guy; d0nt rmbr his name.. (: dey entertain me c0s dey had n0thing t0 d0 either.. time flies while talkin t0 dem abt crappy tings.. ard 7+, my dearest came wif his ad0rable fren.. i l0iike her. she s0 frenly & pr0per. matured tinking fr a 15 turning 16yr 0ld girl. c0ngrads ya! h0ney blanje pepper'0' frm 0ld chang kee. nice den we walked til cine b4 til paradiz ctr. b0ard d bus til intrchnge.

i hang0ut wif him fr awhile b4 heading h0me.. yea,i b0rr0wed his pSp. em0 shit in d bus. mats disturb als0 i didnt care c0s i was c0ncerned fr d s0ngs & n0t dem, surprisingly. whakaka!! i need t0 go & ir09n my cl0thes fr later.. im meeting him. i w0nder wats d surprise dis time.. he's t0o full 0f surprises. darlin isnt he?.. (:

2007-01-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

life's been unseemingly great dis past tw0 days dat i cudnt evn get d 0ppurtunity t0 bl0g 0r write my dear diary.. hmpff. but dats 0k, feeling utterly pleased wif evryting dat im having rite n0w.. bie, i truly enj0yed d past tw0 days wif ya.. n0thing but fantastic.. evnth0ugh ur ezlink card's like g0na b finished u stil came all d way & didnt want me t0 pay f0r d bus fares.. ):

i met him ystrday & we jus hang0ut ard bt gmbk c0s its alrdy like aft 6pm dat we plan t0 mit up.. :P we l0oked like idi0ts c0s we l0oked s0 unlike us.. usuali we w0uld dress up evn f0r a lil bit n0w dat day was super slack. sch tshirt & silat pants while i was in tshirt & 3-quarters. heh! cant imagine h0w we managed t0 pull thru such an image. we hang0ut at my fav0urite chill 0ut place..did crazy tings dat shall b unmenti0ned. stupid la actuali & extremely funny. rch der at ard 7+ & hang0ut til 10pm c0s he needed t0 g0 h0me..

0tw h0me, we j0ked abt many delude stuffs. damn i cant recall rite n0w abt wat we laughed abt. but i d0 rmbr d fact dat i laugh til i sat 0n d pavement c0s my tummy hurts & he's standin l0okin dwn at me & hitting his f0rehead. hhahaha!! funny like hell til s0me taxi apek turn t0 l0ok at us.. haha! deluded id0its. lame seyy.. we cudnt st0p laughin til we mit fadlyana undr blk 242. haha, she's s0 BIG but she's afraid 0f a tiny puny cr0ach. dumb.

sent me h0me, b0rr0wed d ganyut dvd b4 i sent him 0ff at d buzstp at mami's 0ld h0use. he entered my h0use & my dad kept calling f0r him, haha but he didnt knw c0s he went strait t0 d t0ilet. whakaka! s0 basicali he didnt hear my dad callin him. gundu sayy euu.. niwae, aft send him h0me, wait f0r his call b4 sleeping (:

abt 2day's st0ry..update tmr k? im tired 0f typing. haha..jus quite came bck frm wrk s0 ya l0r.. tkcr h0neys.

2007-01-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

an0ther day at werk..cr0wd wasnt as great t0day. btw, im referin t0 paperpe0ple, n0t tyan b0utique. viv0 t0psh0p/t0pman. haha, dat stupid ryan kept disturbing me again. asked whether i wanted s0me nach0s dat he b0ught. haha! lame but he's s0 ad0rable & dat hawty h0tt hawtty nich0las talked t0 me. he's d guy wh0 l0oks malay but in fact, he's chinese. i'll die staring at his eyes.. 0ogling. im g0na sign up as his die-hard fan. but i still l0ve my dearie.

start d day gr8 c0s bie call & chat wif him den chat wif elfi til i rch viv0. came late by 15min but farhan didnt mind. many cust0mers came by & i made 3 frens. aszlyn, hawa & her adik. darling girls frm YISS malay dance. dey'r l0oking fr j0b vacancies, exchanged numbers bef0re dey went 0ff. s0me guys wana kenal kenal but as usual, i aint interested. i stick by 0ne 0nly & i MEAN IT!!

bump int0 apul's fren wh0m i dun rmbr d name. he was wif his gf & daughter. talked t0 nani & chat wif dis guy name sufi while his gf was in d changing r0om. haha. he's 15 but atch t0 a 21yr 0ld w0man. bad catch th0ugh, hah! i called him but n0body answer d h0use ph0ne. r0tting der til farhan came at 9:02pm. by den, st0ck was $203, i met d target. yea t0 me! sms pe0ple dat i hardly sms like his adik ((:

g0 mkn wif farhan, he blanje eat satay. i ate d chickens while he ate d kambing & lembu. d guy wrking at d stall tried t0 hit 0n me. bleah! im taken swhiit thang. aft dat i b0ard 963 h0me.. while in d bus, his adik called. haha! funny chat wif her bef0re chatting wif her abg (: talked til i rch h0me s0 n0w im bl0gging aft i finish mandi. haha, g0na beep my h0ney n0w. cha0 darling..

2007-01-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

c0mplicati0ns aft c0mplicati0ns.. its started 0ff like shit bc0s tix fr d match was s0ld0ut & i didnt feel like entertaining him at all. vry much unlike me.. he pik me up frm my place. stubb0rn. he left his h0use like super early ard 1+ rite aft his s0ccer match. hah! s0 basicali he's been like 0ut since m0rning. guys tk reti makne penat esp wen it c0ncerns s0ccer. like dey say, b0ys wil b b0ys..

niwae, he said 4pm undr my blk but 4:30pm den he called. beep his hp, n0 value. den i went t0 buy d c0ntacts s0luti0n at d uncle wh0 alwys giv me disc0unts & bump int0 din0, achik & b0b. smue tukar num, like shit seyy.. s0 i ign0re him like al0t 0f times. we didnt knw wher 2 head t0 so we b0ard 963 til viv0. in d bus i fell aslp c0s hvnt had peaceful nights lately. still n0t talking t0 hiim.. i was still upset 0ver d c0nversati0n i had wif dat GIRL frm his past.. )):

at viv0, still n0t much talking. he talked but i was silent. weird huh? im usuali n0isy. we kep 0ur distance while walking. d wh0le day was b0ring, i s0meh0w cant bring myself t0 talk t0 him. d truth hurts badly, can s0meb0dy st0p all dis madneSs. i dun wana make rash decisi0ns. i saw aqila w her bf in viv0, she l0oks fab. he wanted t0 buy s0me mkn in GIANT & wanted t0 drag me al0ng. hais.. lazy seyy. cann0t g0 al0ne huh?.. ): n0 m0od la. duncha get it?..

left viv0, head t0 seah im f0odc0urt. i didnt feel like eating but i knew he was hungry & wil 0nly eat if i d0 s0 i 0rder kway te0w. fattening! ugh. wel, as l0ng as he mkn, i'd b fine.. evn if i l0ok like a fat pig. bleah! ate d same ting but t0tal silent. he talk n0t me. hah! im like s0 d0wn. i ate wif little appetite & a fucked up face which l0oks like im crying. terrible. k, he wana send me h0me strait aft dinner its 0nly 7+. s0 early?.. s0 we sat ard at d intrchnge & had t0 brace his iritatingneSs.

at 0ne p0int, i cudnt take it s0 i walked 0ff & cr0sS d 0vrhead bridge tinkin dat i shud take 61 since 963 was f0revr packed. sat der fr a while b4 returnin t0 d intrchnge. he's g0ne..~n0p,he came back dr0pped d pSp & raise his v0ice. watevr. still pisSing me 0ff s0 i lined up fr 963 but halfway, danial called s0 i wennt t0 mit him at d mrt & t0pup my ezlink t0o. i came back up tinkin he had g0ne h0me but n0o0o.. he's der still waiting. sweet but sickening. desperate t0 send me h0me. cant 0blige n0 l0nger. s0 i jus kept mum.

963 & saw fuckin nurul wh0 st0le apul frm me. bitch. had t0 sit bside her in d bus. he didnt help.. kept fiddlin wif my hands, lying 0n my sh0ulders & sayin dat he'll l0ve me evn if i dun. ya.. blah blah blah. suddenly, my heart s0ften s0 i entertain him. he seemed ecstatic c0s i resp0nd t0 his lameneSs. still cheery s0 we hang0ut at d playgrd's tunnel in frnt 0f cik piah's h0use. sp0re & msia 1-1. my neighb0urh0od was alive at night. hah!

wel, in d end sp0re w0n frm penalty s0 2-1 ((: glad i was. he was thrilled t0o esp c0nfessing dat he w0re d sp0re jersey but wen he f0unf 0ut d tix was s0ld0ut, he zipped up his jacket. dumb! wel, i cant bear seeing th0se d0pey eyes wen he's eyes gets watery. its heart melting. aww.. he finali knew dat i was a risk taker. s0 sl0w sia.. like it? u basket.nvm. sent him 0ff t0 d 852 buzstp, kiszed him gdnight & went h0me. dats it, 0ff t0 bed n0w. bye.. (:

2007-01-27T11:09:00.000+08:00

fantastic. he deleted d sunday p0st. hah! tinkin dat he was sweet but.. nvm. let him be. i reli dun0 whether did is fr real 0r jus a h0ax. like its all a set up. fucking hell! i s0 dun like dis.. if u dun l0ve me den p0ut it. dun leave me hangin c0s i dun wana b wastin my fuckin time waitin fr guys n0 m0re. im seri0usly thru wif all dis stuff. its addin m0re burden. i t0t bein in l0ve wif change evryting but i gueSs i was mistaken. i tink she's RIGHT. im n0t gd enuf fr u.. u nd s0me0ne wh0 may b able t0 cater t0 all ur needs. i cant. im just pathetic. useleSs. i cant make ur day like she d0es. bet u still like her but i jus dun knw & u'r putting me tru dis gueSsing game. im thru.. i need a vacati0n. im pressured. jus dun0 wat m i t0 d0.. i feel s0 cheated. t0t u wer d 0ne but i may b wr0ng 0nce again. i thru wif guys.. dey screw up my life.. ):

2007-01-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

2day was excepti0nal.. finali wrking at tyan b0utique again.. wif was gr8 bey0nd c0mpared. imagine urself wrking in a b0utique wif many excellent designers ambience. its fab, i tell u. seri0us. i was p0sted 2 palais renaissance. d manager was jessie. she's s0 nice, it made me feel s0 welc0med. futherm0re, she's 5 mths pregnant. darling b0y.. aww..

started 0ff at 11am.. many cust0mers frm different walks 0f life.. m0stly th0se lavish 0nes. great spender. d cheapest 0f d designer labels are ard $90+ bc0s its a l0cal designer but if its frm bigger 0nes like r0bert0 cavalli 0r vivienne westw0od, it can sh0ot up til $3,000/+. fanciful but its hard 0n d p0ckets esp wen u'r n0t frm wealthy family.. i ad0re angm0hs. dey buy l0ads of different labels..

der was dis aussie family dat b0ught 12 g0ods am0untin t0 $3,762 & he paid CASH! damn. a die-hard tyan cust0mer came wif her fren & b0ught at least 7g0ods each. yea, dey dun feel d guilt 0f ovrspending. d die-hard cust0mer even went t0 d extend 0f taking a pic 0f a red babyd0ll dress & mms-ing her daughter. hah! i d0 blame d vasity 0f techn0logy. d wrk ended at 7:30pm. he's pivking me up (:

s0 met him 0utside f0rum & had dinner at maCd bc0s i was cravin fr d pr0perity burger. bsides, i didnt eat aniting d wh0le day. d cust0mers made me 4get abt f0od. he was sweet. misz him c0s we didnt meet like a week 0r so. aft f0rum, we went 2 fareast. he's s0 ridicul0us but hapen at d 0rchard mrt staircase was 0ne 0f a kind. stupid sia eu.. k, l0ok at s0me stuff & kacau farhan paperppl. i dump him sayin dat i was at nyp & i cant wrk wen i actuali hav 2 wrk s0mewher else. bastard. flirt seyy.. fancy sayin dat im s0 gatal. speak fr urself la bie..

aft dat went t0 wisma. walked ard.. b4 he pulled me 0ut 0f wisma & made me run 2 ind0Chine bc0s dey wer playin d s0ng creep. hah! i d0 like dat s0ng t0o, as in d meaning. its getting late yet he desperately wana send me h0me. dats th0ughtful s0 t0ok 106 rch bt btk & saw my fanclub maniacs. he sned me til my h0use b4 he left. pSp wif me.. can play games. i tink dat will st0p his pSp addicti0n t0o. haha..

2007-01-24T09:21:00.000+08:00

hmm..i cant decide as yet. shud i jus stick 2 0ne j0b 0r b0th? tyan b0utique & paperpe0ple wants me.. damn! h0w? perhaps i shud c0unter w0rk.. hav b0th. w0rk wkdays fr tyan & wkends fr paperpe0ple. ugh! farhan. i wana c0mplain. mcm mane ni?.. i tried callin eu but u tk answer.. y seyy?.. tag me wen u read dis bl0g k? i need s0me c0nfirmati0n. nvm. nvm. i need 2 get my mummy a b0ok frm paperpe0ple. anyting dats green, its her fav. ((:

i chat wif my mr papadum ystrday.. whakaka! called me missy sausage. wth?! i l0athe sausages. ugh! digust me. he's practicali lame, like usual. ahaks! til t0day, he has 0wed me 14 ep0k-ep0k. rmbr dat? i dun fren u.. u mus make dem wif TLC if n0t, its rejected & u 0we ibu PIZZA since last yr.. haha! she's g0na hantam u s0on. u've been replaced by her.. t0o bad. :P

wasnt any c'brati0n c0s d timing t0o packed up.. dis wkend c'brati0n!.. parents went 0ut 2 st0ck up f0od supply & wen i was talkin 2 mr fr0ggie [keke.. l0ve dat name!], my parents returned s0 had 2 pick up d heavy plastics. i went 0ut 0f d h0use wif h0t pants & a l0ng tshirt. d stupid matrip neighb0ur didnt let his fuckin eyes 0ff me. jerk. hatee euu.. :/

haha. heck s0 i pick up d stuffs & ran back inside my safe z0ne.. layan my nenek til she sleep & talked 2 h0ney fr0ggy again. aww.. u'r such a darling. my bucuk bucuk.. whakaka! cant help it.. i misz eu la.. its been DAYS since we last met. d last was LAST FRIDAY!!! ugh! baby, can we mit s0on. im dying here. cant chat l0ng c0s we supp0se 2 talk 0nly til 11pm but he called my h0use at 12:15 dis m0rning.. haha! miss called a m0ment t0o late. ~bang! i l0ve eu bie. hugs & kisses. ((: pr0mise dat i'll acc0mpany eu 2 d s0ccer match k? peri0d.

2007-01-23T12:23:00.000+08:00

the love dat i 0nce had f0r eu has faded..

t0 wh0m it may c0ncern..

F.Y.I. it tink, wats passed is past..
f0rget abt it.. i aint returnin t0 y0u..
here's a c0mpr0mised answer f0r euu since u dun seem t0 get d idea;

"watcha doing looking at me
with that fuzzy attitude
here i go just so silently
your eyes to me are nude

for all that i've done, u gave me hate
why don't you just walk away?
you gotta accept this, this is your fate
is this all you've got to say?

my hands are wrinkled, its your fucking FAULT
crack them knuckles and scream
all i see now is my pandoras box, bolt
and i might just call this an ATTITUDE SUPREME"

CRAZY,
thats how you drive me baby..
wana play d game. i'd d0 it ur way. i played nice but i g0t phunk 0ut. g0.. my l0ve life is a game f0r 2 & ur n0t part 0f mine playa s0, SCRAM..

2007-01-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

dis is d pic dat i t0ok 0f my mum & haziqah. happy bdae u tw0!! haziqah's bdae 0n 21st jan & 23rd jan but c'brated t0gether. haha! dun dey l0ok s0 cute? haha.. n0thing much t0 write actuali. well dats all t0day..

2007-01-22T09:12:00.000+08:00

like 0mg! guess wh0 called me at 11:28pm ystrday?..nah! wr0ng! ITS HIM!! i l0ve him.. im like s0 flabbergasted dat i giggled like half d time. he cant stand being apart either. thank u h0ney. i l0ve u s0 much.. u ended my day w0nderfully. esp wen my ppd is running l0w but i manage 2 talk 2 him til 1+. yeah. stupid ppd, need 2 change 2 line.. argh! i cant help it. my day wishes & h0pes has finali paid 0ff wen he beep me.. he s0unded kinda l0st wen he called. like speechless.

damn. damn. damn. he misz me t0o.. i misz u m0re times infinity plus 1. (: i reli enj0yed d c0nversati0n evnth0u its sh0rt-lived. i relished evry sec dat we spent 0n d ph0ne.. nvr knew u wud call. t0t u wud b str0ng enuff. guess im wr0ng. we'r d same. l0ve eu.. l0ve eu.. l0ve euu.. argh! i'll g0 crazy.. dun0 wat 2 say actuali but, im glad dat he called me.. its like a miracle. i ad0re euu.. i've finali relinquish my dilemmas. tks hubby. btw, read ur bl0g. ad0rati0n. i've tagged i tink. wake up quickly yaa?.. my preci0us sleepyhead. hah. need 2 g0, must attend 2 my nenek. l0ve y'all & u t0o h0ney. muacks! l0tsa l0ve fr evry0ne.. spread it..

2007-01-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

hey.. i jus went 0nline 2 publish d aftnun stuff. hais..werk was gr8. except fr d fact dat i wasted 6 pages writing abt him. hah! lets n0t say waste.. i c0ntributed my th0ughts & w0es int0 d fauna@paperpe0ple bk. hais.. im l0vesick. paramedic puhleez.. d cust0mers wer 0k & i g0t myself a diary. tks b0ss. i l0ve it. its pink th0u but very artistically designed. it c0st $20 but i g0t it F.0.C. l0ve it.. i've started writing my diary alrdy. im pr0bably d0in dis 0utta man0t0ny. b0red0m, hah! s0ri fr d chim w0rds. my bad.

haha. s0me act0r frm ganyut als0 werkin at t0psh0p. he made my day but i cnt recall his name. shucks! s0ri dear, bad mem0ry (: wel, cust0mers fl0ck my desk enquirin abt t0psh0p. huh? im frm PAPERPE0PLE darling, n0 t0psh0p. 1 great w0man b0ught stuff c0st $70+. l0ve eu, wh0evr u may b. s0me hunkalici0us cust0mers left their c0ntacts but i've j0tted dem dwn in d fauna bk. s0ri, im taken fr LIFE! werkin al0ne, s0 rather enj0yin.. made frens wif m0re staffs. bubbly bunch.. s0me 0ffered 2 buy me f0od, drinks & faggies! c0ol..

had l0ts 0f cryin g0in 0n wif me.. since d 12n0on til i rch h0me. kept hearing l0ve s0ngs dat reminds me 0f hiim! felt guilty th0u but i've f0und a s0luti0n. hectic day.. he's 0n my mind like 24/7. evry lil ting reminds me 0f him. h0ney, pls call. i misz eu greatly.. i d0. really. wishing im in ur arms rite n0w, u kissed me & sayin u misz me t0o. h0w i wished. my spirits are dampen rite n0w. i've n0 strength but i'll endure c0s i hav faith in US! went h0me wif hakeem.. ha! made me giggle a lil s0 ya.. dats it fr 2 day. i'll publish it tmr since d bl0g webbie's c0nnecti0n l0w... save it as draft 1st. nites pe0ple..

"some people will work things out
and some just don't know how to change
lets not wait till the water runs dry
we might watch our whole lives pass us by
lets not wait till the water runs dry
we'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
dont do it,baby
now they can see the tears in our eyes
but we deny the pain that lies
deep in our hearts
well maybe thats a pain we cant hide
why do we hurt each other so much?"

s0ri i've ever misunderst0od u.. im ap0logise. making dis clear dat i dun wana break d chemistry dat we hav. seri0usly, im praying fr wats best fr us.. i kn0w u d0 t0o.. h0pe ur decisi0n prevails.. ):

2007-01-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

i dun0 wat im supp0sed 2 resp0nse t0 watevr we jus c0nverse 0n d ph0ne. im t0o stunned ): i appauled by wat jus happen, let me rewind.. he said,' lets n0t c0ntact fr a week..' wat? h0w d0 u assumed i cud c0pe wif dis? ): i cant help it. its like g0in thru t0o much c0mplusi0n. my heart cant take it.. dun feel like g0in 2 werk rite n0w )): my intuiti0ns wer rite.. we need 2 break free frm each 0ther but.. n0t c0ntacting fr a WEEK!! im f0rl0rn. i need eu bie.. pls. i cant bear n0t 2 c0ntact u fr a week. even a sec i cant endure..

are eu fr real?.. u'r like my endless 0bsessi0n. i've best0wed my undying l0ve up0n u al0ne.. n0 else hav managed 2 stray me away frm euu.. when im afraid l0sing gr0und & my w0rld's g0n crazy.. u make me hav faith dat evrytings g0na change wif u ard.. ur l0ve has been d m0st amazing ting dat has evr happen 2 me. it's inspired me 2 strive fr my dreams.. i kn0w dat watevr i d0, i'll hav u by my side.. i turned 2 u wenevr im in need. pls.. im sheding tears as if its d end 0f d universe. cant help it, i dun0 wat i'll d0 with0ut u.. ):

mayb we mit t0o 0ften.. d evryday c0nversati0ns, t0o much 0f dat. i'd d0 anyting jus as l0ng as u dun disappear frm a week. it grieving.. we'll werk tings 0ut. i assure u.. i dun0 h0w but i'll tink 0f a s0luti0n. i cant b apart frm u.. u'r t0o preci0us. hais.. i gtg b g0ing. my relatives are 0ver at my place 2 c'brate haziqah's bdae & my nenek stayin 0ver t0o. shud l0ok happy in frnt 0f dem.. i'll try. btw, im writing dis at 1:36pm. get it published at night.. )):

2007-01-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

l0ved 2day 2 d max.. its like 1 0f my recent best day evr :) 1st day at w0rk, da kena kacau by farhan supervis0r. n0t farhan jackass k?.. paperpe0ple, based in t0psh0p. l0ve it seyy.. d staffs wer frenly & d guys wer darlings. aww.. dey b0ught fr me drinks c0s i didnt wana eat. s0 shwiit esp hanis. i l0iike him d m0st. his my deary.. i met an0ther farhan. its md khairi farhan.. suave l0oking guy but skinny. damn! ders like s0 many malay der but i was wrking wif intan, etty's skulmate. haha!! she's 0k2 la..

based der frm 2-10pm, standing d wh0le time & didnt g0 fr break. hungry but maintain. d wh0le day was m0re like chatting sessi0ns wif d staffs, h0w 2 punch d stupid kad & wer 2 scan items. d n0teb0oks wer d b0mb! intan kept t0king 2 her frens.. darns. s0 afra bump int0 me & she was wif AMIRUL SYAFIQ!! amira's abg.. hah! wat a sh0ck i had. indie?! n0t bad. xchange num wif practicali evry0ne der m0st impt, d hunks. dey ad0re me, i l0ve dem :))

farhan supervis0r came back 0nli ard 9pm aft aband0nin us.. we wrap stuffs fr s0me american, bcame a part time cust0mer svc & entertain pe0ple. i enj0yed it s0 much. cuci mata, dats fr sure. l0tsa h0ttie sia.. sape tk tgk? hee~ i mad s0 many frens in 1 day & ive add new members 2 my fanclub. yipee!! i assure u dat dey'r hawt. interested parties pls beep me.. (: great tings happen 2day dat its s0 much 2 menti0n. finali felt al0t happier 2day.. hah! laugh & giggle like i always d0. im l0st fr w0rds. jus l0ved 2day s0 much.

2007-01-19T23:50:00.001+08:00

like wat d hell.. y is he being s0 iritating lately. cant stand it.. 1stly, he came 40min LATE!! 0mg! i had 2 wait at d bl0ody intrchange til i had headache tks 2 d sc0rching sun & HIM! da lmbt den tk tau nk terus mintak maaf.. can still smile at me like n0thing happen plak. thk g0d i l0ve him, klau tak da kene maki rabak rabak seyy.. if u kn0w u'r g0na b late, leave ur h0use earlier la.. c0mm0n sense rite?..

pissed 0ff at him & he still want me 2 eat. n0 appetite. head spinnign like mad & my thr0at feels nausea. urghh! he b0ught f0od at LJS & sat at d staircase 2 mkn. sweet c0s he fed me evnth0u i didnt want 2. f0rced me 2 eat c0s he's afraid dat i might puke but he kept iritating me & licking my hand, shirt, jeans. digusting. im super petrified by his bhavi0ur. like s0me psych0path. scary.. dis aint my dear. acting s0 weird. did i pick d wr0ng guy?.. seri0usly, s0metimes i tink s0. err.. perhaps im giving him pressure.. ): wel, he did massage my neck. (:

he l0oks usual jus d bhavi0ur & d way im being treated is s0 diff frm d way im treated last time. i want d 0ld hiim. nak kate aku beruba, entah lak tapi dier, memang terang terang dier beruba. i dun0 la.. up 2 u 2 change.. i'll help wherever p0ssible. hais.. cant explain h0w crushed im feeling rite n0w. wel, apply fr j0b at tangs. walked ard viv0 b4 heading h0me. bump int0 his girl fren, switl0oking. l0ve her makeup but super kec0h.

b0ard d bus wif him c0s i miss ST MARG'S. can u belive dat?! i cant. in d bus, he was a darling. being such a cutie pie. l0ved d j0urney c0s we laughed abt d american id0l.. funny like hell. he cried while laughing. s0 CUTE!sent him til intrchnge. hah! in d bus kena caught by c0nduct0r, had 2 pay $1.50. fuck! watevr. b0ard train til gmbk, t0ok 945.. wen i alight, saw 3 dark figures. banglas? n0p, MALAYS. haha! mistaken. da la gelap mcm keling, nk gangu aku plak.. tk tau da kul 11:43?.. idi0ts. i rch h0me, talk 2 him & ri0t went 0n undr my blk. kec0h! stupid abg again & braders..

i did enj0y d day, partly i guess. n0t enj0ying as much as h0w i used 2 treasure evry m0ments wif him during d past yr..dats it, aint n0 m0od. i cant figure 0ut y he change.. i need d 0ld him.. i w0nder h0w l0ng i can bear d new him. lets wait & see h0w far it g0es. fr n0w, pe0ple.. help me pray fr him 2 change pls?.. i need HIM back.. n0t dis current guy wh0se character i simply cant undrstand. like a chamele0n, changes within split sec0nds. damn la. cant help it.. i'll wait n0 matter wat.. pray fr me. )): hey, but i aint letting eu g0. l0ve u t0o much..

2007-01-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

t0day is 1 0f d f0nd mem0ries dat i'll cherish wif him (: its seri0usly fun. wel, it was supp0sed 2 b a surprise but i guess it c0rrectly. many guys, wear red/white, speak like ind0n & kallang. 0bvi0us dat ders g0na b a match at d stadium. durh!! d last time i wen der was in sec3 c0s my fren's frm y0ung li0ns. l0ve d enthusiasm. guys rawks wen it c0mes 2 s0ccer. u'll learn m0re abt their character..

picked me up & acc0mpany me 2 d d0c. saw ally & frens at d buzstp. he RMBR me! h0w sh0cking.. uwee~ sum freak bl0w kisses at me. retard! nvm. aft g0in 2 d d0c, t0ok 106. plan 2 g0 t0wn but as usual we d0nt f0llow 0ur plan. tweehee~1stly, he l0oks hawt in d shades. haha! listen bie, i said it,'U L0OK HAWWTT!!' muahaha! rch millenia walk, g0t a lil l0st but f0und 0ur way 2 LJS 2 mkn. his treat again )): wen izit g0na b my turn? hmpff.

scan thru candy empire, d ch0cs wer 2 die f0r. ate at 0ur 0wn swit time b4 g0in ard marina sq. wind0wsh0ppe, b0ught a headband & tried 0ut d 0ther acces0ries. miSz d b0hemian bands, i l0st mine. he said i l0ok great. yeah rite. i l0ok fab0lously g0rge0us! w0oho0~k da perasan. (: den we had 2 g0 2 d stadium. quite near. wel, did d unexpected. s0me 0range drink dat cant b named. rmbr bie, 1st & last. u play me 0ut i'll leave ya f0r g0od.

walk til kallang & argue abt my past. he didnt rmbr d tings i t0ld him wen we jus knew each 0ther. quite iritated c0s he g0t d details jumbled up. hate eu! i mean it. u made me upset. it drizzled. luckly, i had umbrella. well, i cant stay upset wif him fr l0ng s0 i chill dwn. he kept c0axin me. 0n d kallang bridge, we made hist0ry. we made many kiss hist0ry b4.. rch d stadium & it st0p raining fr a while. wen we wer buying d tickets it beat d0wn like thunder. s0aked.

grand stand. i was freezing c0ld. d match was terrible.. referee kayu! dat s0und dumb but d adrenaline dat d spectat0rs had can seri0usly cause cha0s. great cr0wd. saw my uncle, abg izam! hide/cam0uflage. he didnt see me i tink. hunz was like super anxi0us til he had sweaty palms. funny, he's such a darling. shud see h0w c0nstipated he l0ok wen d team nearly sc0red & h0w deranged he l0ok wen dey didnt. he kept cursing.. hate dat part.

its a draw.. b0th made it 2 d AFC s0 it was fine. ind0n smue kene maki, kekek. walked 2 d buzstp, he sent me h0me. its alrdy 10+. didnt cuci mata.. t0o engr0sSed in my hubby & d match. 0uh man! wasted sia.. c0nfirm al0t 0f h0tties. i l0oiike.. at d buzstp, saw my pri sch fren. his fren is a fren 0f my h0ney. a nati0nal player.. saw muhaimin, cik ani's s0n. haha! in d bus we chat like usual & jus stare at each 0ther f0r n0 rhyme 0r reas0n. hah! bt btk, kissed gdbye & he's 0ff h0me. he's a pain sumtimes but cant deny dat i d0 l0ve him still.. hearts hiim.

2007-01-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

hunz.. jus a lil smth i came up wif.. h0pe u'll like it ((: im b0red & i jus finished talkin 2 faiz & elfi.. (: l0ve ya.. t0odles. if u've read, tag me k?.. used d name hunz s0 i kn0w its euu!!

when im with you, eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow, with each passing day.
this treasure of love, i'll cherish within my soul,
how much i love you.. u'll never really know.
you bring a joy to my heart, i've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand, i love you more and more.
whenever we say goodbye, whenever we part,
know i hold you dearly, deep inside my heart.
so these seven words, i pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always, I Will Love You."

tks bie.. l0ve eu l0ads! muacks. :X

2007-01-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

haha. updati0n 2 yesterday's meetup. ((: s0ri hunz but its funny. ur leg hair grew! u'r a MAN n0w! whakakaka.. funny la bie. i still l0ve euu.. it felt s0 great meeting eu yesterday evnth0u its fr a while & der isnt anyting special. btw, cant wait fr tmr's surprise. l0ved. tell me la.. i nak tau seyy.. hint hint ke?.. i pity elfi. he g0t drunk dis m0rning. get well s0on ya br0? dun hang0ver 0r anyting. )): g0t me scared..

haha. yaya msged me. lame la d msgs but funny stuff.. i was t0o tired 2 rply c0s its 3am. futherm0re, i chat wif zul til 2+ c0s my hp's recepti0n was l0w. damn la.. al0ng d way, my hunz called t0o aft he fell aslp. shwiit.. 2day was c0ol.. w0ke up at 9:26am, had a piece 0f prata & sh0wered. i didnt wana b late fr d intrview. pr0mise na0mi i'd b early.. my hunz called me using his granny's hp. chat fr awhile.. s0 i rush 0ff 2 mit na0mi. i rch tanj0ng pgr at 12pm but supp0sed 2 mit at 12:30pm.

thk g0d na0mi rush quickly.. :) we went 2 d Henca c0mpany. had d intrview, der was dis guy frm team republic. hawtt indian. aft dat acc0mpany na0mi g0 mkn den i t0ok bus 2 0rchard fr d paperpe0ple tingy. i c0llect d cheque frm mauren & g0 2 m0unt elizabeth 2 bank in d cheque at UOB. called up farhan frm paperpe0ple 2 change d timing fr d intrview. its at fareast #03-81.. haha! its d n0tebk sh0ppie. dat farhan is skinny & tall.. specky, he's swhiit & he likes me!

aft d intrview, i went wind0wsh0ppin in fareast.. b4 heading h0me 0n 106. yawn!~ i c0llected l0tsa numbers & an email frm a nigga. hunks! nah! i l0ve my hubby & him 0nly.. i ditched d rest. s0ri dudes.. he st0le my heart. (: jgn kembang tau bie! keke.. haha.. talkin 2 my dearest, he s0unds quite sick. aww.. flu stinks! it makes him & me ill.. nvm. we'll meet tmr & dat'll make us well. l0ve eu hunz.

2007-01-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

0osyd0sy.. im 0ld n0w bc0s i hav 2 use d adult fare. shucks! k watevr. met my bf at ys mrt but he wasnt alert theref0re, my train left with0ut him. he made me alight at khatib & take d nxt train.. hais. fine, d upsetting part was d fact i dat s0me mats in d last cabin wer flirting wif me. err.. i dun0 h0w 2 c0mment 0n dem. thank g0d d train dat he was in wasnt cr0wded wif mats except fr d 0fficers. saw naszril, my akk sdare's guyfren. hawwtt.. i ad0re thee.

my darls is such a cutie.. misz him l0ads. finali felt like i was in d angel's arms wen he hugged & kissed me. sultryfied pleasure. haha! cant get enuff 0f him. g0sh! pimples i say.. l0tsa dem. 0mg! nightmare. wel, at least its fading 0ff frm his face.. aww.. patience h0ney. it'll g0 away s0on enuff. ((: trust me k dear?.. had 2 mit 0ur dear fren aft his prac s0 we wen 2 bugis 2 get his lil sis a bdae prezzie. such a sweet thang. shades. l0ving them. d vintage 0ne. ad0rati0n..

aft walking abt bugis, we settled fr c0conut. haha! i failed at peeling. hmpff! teach me darling.. teach me! aft dat, we finish d drink & to0k a bus 2 n0vena. haha! we kid ard in d bus.. lame stuff. he did smth digusting, he t0ok a sweet lick it a c0uple 0f times b4 stuffin it in my m0uth! ass xia. i ate it 0f c0s.. he f0und it funny s0 i punch him & pretend 2 laugh. den i said,' hah!funny..' wif a n0n em0ti0nal face. hah! dumbness. rch n0vena & head 2 mcCafe & i g0t bullied again. argh! hate eu..

sat & chat awhile wif 0ur fren, t0ok l0tsa pics 2gether. me & hiim! chat til ard 8pm b4 we b0ught s0tongs frm 0ld chang kee. uuwee~ wait fr 851 & head 0ff 2 ys c0s i need 2 change bus 2 bt btk.. in d bus, he was such a m0ron. c0mmentin 0n s0me chinese chic's b0obies. gr0sS!!.. cudnt b b0thered 2 entertain a sick0. dammit eu. jerk! 2 tink dat u'r my bf. it makes it w0rst. damn eu.. rch ys, went 2 nrthpt fr awhile b4 i head fr 852. he cudnt send me h0me c0s he had 2 b h0me by 10pm..

haha.. 2 bad. :P i hate my makeup 2day.. its h0rrend0us. but i l0ok awes0me. syi0k sendiri katekan. haha!! bumped int0 al0t of his frens at nrthpt.. wel, i t0ok d bus & der wer l0ts 0f mats wh0 b0arded at amk. dey jus finished dey'r sepak takraw & dey kept disturbing me. k, im iritated. dats it. im 0ff 2 talk 2 my jerkiesh bf. 0ff idi0ts!..

2007-01-15T14:15:00.000+08:00

lovely. stayed h0me again yesterday.. i tink im bc0ming a h0me-girl. whakaka!! aint g0nna hapen. unless im married den it'll b h0usewife. haha! im s0 g0nna plead my hubby 2 let me w0rk.. unless my tummy g0es b0om! lame stuff huh? s0ri, jus g0t nuts all 0f a sudden. mayb meeting my h0ney scumpkin later. 0olla..

haha. i talked 2 my dearest til 2am dis m0rning. he was tired but jus didnt wana admit. c'm0n darling, i kn0w u wana sleep rite? but u pretending c0s im n0t sleepy. k la, fr ur sake.. nxt time i sleep earlier k?.. kecian dier. haha! wel, we didnt chat much except d reas0n 2 y we havent meet in a wk?!! hah! dats l0ng.. usuali within a few days we wud have met up but due 2 pers0nal c0mmitments, we have 2 p0stp0ned 0ur meet ups. ): but its 0k.. we'll hang 0n as l0ng as we have each 0ther.

0k.. supp0sed 2 b his turn 2 hangup but he made me d0 it. unfair! hmpff! dun like eu.. bully me evrytime. but.. i l0ve eu. :P aft sayin all d gdbyes, i hang up. i t0ss, turn & bump 0n d bed but cudnt sleep. ard 2:22am, zulfadly sent me a gdnight msg. i rply since i was awake & he decide 2 call. s0 i ended up chattin wif him til 5am.. he starts sch at 10am but he d0esnt wana sleep. we talked & laughed abt 0ur silly antics back during pri sch. he's changed. d v0ice? n0t much 0f a difference.

fancy d ting dat we used 2 crush 0n each 0ther. haha! puppyl0ve. infactuati0n. he's a cutie. talked abt khafi & d br0ken to0th. syazni, hamdi, shazril, eliza, d twins amirul, etc. f0nd mem0ries. we t0t 0f meeting up but n0t sure wen.. a great BIG reuni0n wif 0ur pri sch mates. dat'll b fantastic. anticipating. b0th 0f us didnt feel like puttin d0wn d ph0ne.. t0o engr0ssed wif d c0nversati0n. we didnt realise dat d time flies s0 fast. haha!.. sweet nuff. wel, dats it, i tink, f0r n0w & i l0ve my bf. he's d greatest. hearts eu l0ads!..

2007-01-14T21:31:00.000+08:00

0uh shwiit.. we wer talkin abt wat we did t0day & h0w miserable i felt c0s i have sex maniacs bugging my hp. fuck u assh0les! gimme my life. i aint a part 0f eu s0 dun bug me 0r i'll b nasty. err.. except 2 my bf, i'd b nice 2 hiim. he's my darling. if any0ne hurts him, i'd break their neck. haha! jk.

i s0o0oo need 2 change my hp number siax. its making me hyperventilate! urgh! nightmares within d ph0ne call 0n my hp. all d want is SEX!! i aint cheap. i've nvr d0ne it & planning n0t 2 until im hitched. want a cheap0 g0 2 md sultan 0r geylang. dey'r cheap & l0ose. dammit! u guys are ridicul0us. havent u g0t any brain cells.

back 2 my c0nversati0n wif my h0ney.. its ard 8pm i tink. i jus quite w0ke up frm my slumber tks 2 all th0se iritating freak0s. t0ld hiim dat my fren na0mi, 0ffered me a j0b at s0ny & salbiah 0ffered me a j0b at f0rever 21. hurray! wel, he jus came h0me aft having dinner wif his family. aww.. i did n0thing at all except fr situps, jumpy jumping jacks, d shitified burpies. exhausted i was. we didnt talked fr l0ng c0s he went 2 bite 0n s0me pizza in d kitchen. haha! my bf is s0 g0na bc0me a fatty p0o. muahaha! i w0nt leave eu even if u'r fat. hehe.. m0nkey dear. l0ve ya.

2007-01-14T12:42:00.000+08:00

hah! we finali figured 0ut wats d pr0b dats been haunting us.. lame but its bc0s we care abt each 0ther t0o much dat we dare n0t tell dem dat dey'r d0in smth wr0ng. s0metimes, we 0verpleased each 0ther til it bc0mes a nuisance. its dumb, i kn0w. we changed evrsince d 1st 0f jan. mayb we wer s0 used being frens & d sudden change hit 0n us.. wel, at least we d0 kn0w y n0w.

but i assure u dat dis w0nt end c0s it'll keep happening again & again. its s0 hard 2 tell ur l0ved 0ne dat dey'r d0in smth wr0ng bc0s u'r afraid dat u might hurt their feelings badly. s0 basicali, u'r stuck in a situati0n 0f either 2 take 0r leave. it sucks badly. c0s im l0ving him t0o much dat i cant bear 2 see him hurting 0r unhappy. if he is, it feels like i didnt d0 my j0b well. i l0ve hiim. s0 so much.. at times, i put him b4 myself. i'd rather suffer dat 2 see him hurt.

h0ney.. h0pe u'll undrstnd.. i wana save dis r'ship badly. i dun want it 2 g0 d0wn d drain. aft all d c0mplicati0ns we wen thru.. i trust dat u dun want us 2 b separated rite?.. its 0k. i pr0mise u dat we shall have a 0ne 2 0ne c0nversati0n & we wil deal wif dis pr0b k?.. n0 matter h0w l0ng it takes, im n0t g0nna give up 0n u easily. i've given u my pr0mise. (:

2007-01-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

haha.. im h0me. yippee! actuali i was alrdy h0me by 10pm. bf called using his fren's hp s0 i called back.. talked 2 him fr awhile abt wat he did wif his fren.. (: dey had s0ccer in d m0rning & it ended late. aww.. wel, i did wait fr him 2 call. hmpff. s0 ya.. he acc0mpany his fren 2 buy s0me gaming stuff. i aint s0 sure. its a guy's ting.. dupe. chat abt wat time is he c0ming h0me & d fact dat dey watch s'p0re match at d stadium. d j0ke was he was $1 sh0rt & d uncle made dem walked a huge r0und. ahaks! wat a pity.

aft dat, i was left talkin 2 his fren.. haha! b0th 0f dem are j0kers. dey crack lame stuff. haha!! we j0ked abt my bf & d reas0n y he's afraid 2 b0ard d G-max. i s0 wana g0 der but he d0esnt want 2. dammit. nvm. i c0ax him s0oner 0r later. ((: yeah me! i talked 2 him til dey rch d mrt stati0n. wel, cudnt chat fr l0ng c0s d c0nnecti0n g0t cut 0ff in d train. nmv. chat again nxt time. gr8 c0nversati0n. :)

2007-01-13T11:32:00.000+08:00

had d greatest c0nference aft a l0ng time.. faiz, farhan & faiz. d 3Fs. haha!.. we all had 0ur 0wn pr0bs s0 we basicali shared 0ver d ph0ne & its been alm0st 2 m0nths since i last hang0ut wif faiz. i misz eu l0ads! ~bang. we talked abt l0ts 0f stuff s0 cant p0ut dem d0wn here.. it'll take pages l0ng 2 type.. ders al0t of changes dat has been g0in 0n. finali, i hear an updati0n 0f yat. he's still wearin d bangle i gave hiim. wat?.. nvm. let him b.. it bel0ngs 2 him aniwae. i gav it f0r his bdae.

we chat abt aisah, elfi, 0urselves.. d nip0ns! damn eu peeps. i misz u guys.. wen we g0nna hang 0ut 2gether again?!! we helped each 0ther s0lve d pr0bs. d 3 0f us had d same pr0b. ab0ut l0ve!! startin 2 hate dat w0rd. ~0opsy! wat d hell.. we chat frm 1am til 3:42am. farhan left at 3:11am c0s he's having s0ccer later. aww.. t0o bad. aft farhan left, faiz help me wif my pr0b. tks br0. tks ya f0rr evryting.. d supp0rt eu gav wen i l0st faith.. c0nvrsati0n ended wen his h0use ph0ne fell & he cudnt call back. nvm. shall c0nt d st0ries later.. l0oking f0rward sia.. yeah! :))

2007-01-12T22:16:00.000+08:00

bie.. y are eu sp0iling my m0od lately?.. y are eu acting all weird, s0 unlike urself.. i want d 0ld eu. d exact same guy dat i fell head 0ver heels f0r. wats wr0ng?.. is der smth u wana share?.. pls tel me swthart.. i dun wana b left waiting.. i want d 0ld eu. y d sudden change?.. dis past few days, u kept j0king abt. i dun mind dat but d w0rds eu used wer hurting..

hais.. i went 2 see my granny at SGH. mami was der 1st.. we rch ard 4pm bc0s need 2 pik up my sis.. d shuttle bus g0es r0und & r0und. wee~ can g0 nuts. wel, wen we enter d ward. i was sh0cked 2 c 2 guys der. as wat i kn0w, ders a separati0n btwin d wards. s0on, i f0und 0ut dat dey wer bunks. 1 was gdl0oking & d 0ther was huge! haha! freaky. digusting t0o c0s 1 didnt bathe eventh0ugh she's been in d h0sp f0r 2 days! yucks. imagine d smell. phew! cant bear wif dat.

entertain my nenek.. surprisingly, i didnt mkn d wh0le day! yiipee! diet, like real. i l0ve d bed c0s its m0vable. my sis & i bunk in der.. 0bvi0usly, she'll take ph0tos. urgh! my face l0oks digusting. t0ok pic 0f rani, my granny's new h0sp fren. frenly aunty. basicali, i made frens wif evry0ne in dat ward. frenly bunch. we stayed der til 8pm c0s visitng hrs was 0ver. bade farewell 2 my granny c0s she's g0in h0me tmr. went 2 7/11 c0s my sis wan buy pizza.

d bl0ody 970 came s0 late.. it was packed t0o. i sat bside dis guy in d bus & it turns 0ut 2 b nazria's ex-bf nazrul. hawtt! chat wif him.. he wana exchange num but i suggest dat we shud jus remain msn frens. haha! im g0od ya?.. as if. aft dat, a cute apek sat bside me. h0ney called. talked wif him til bt timah & dats wher he start upsetting me. pls bie.. i hav enuff 2 tink abt. 2 add 0n. i plead euu.. sitting at d buzstp waitin f0r 985W, 75 dr0ve paSs & s0me guys kept l0oking at me smiling. g0rge0usly hawtt but i wasnt in d m0od 2 entertain such n0nsense. i dun0 wats wr0ng wif me?..

menses? cant b.. evnth0ugh im having it. but i dun0 y he's acting strange?.. nuff. i t0t u said u undrstnd me & w0nt make me upset but u did! durh! 0uh bie, pls b d 0ld eu.. im miszing hiim s0 much.. d0 it f0r my sake, d0 it f0r us.. please...

2007-01-12T12:06:00.001+08:00

its getting lame.. d c0nversati0ns wif hiim.. aint quite sure y but he's n0t been acting himself lately.. like lame den usual. s0 unlike hiim. wel, he didnt slept earlier d night b4 c0s he's engr0ssed in pSp. iritating. he's addicted. guys cant b separated frm their t0ys. wel, he pr0mise he'll bunk in early but he didnt. upset. he br0ke his pr0mise.

niwae, 2nite.. we didnt chat much. basicali we talked abt h0w b0ring 0ur aftnun was & d fact dat he had m0re 0utbreaks. pitiful. he s0unded as th0u its c0ntagi0us. pimples arent c0ntagi0us at all.. hais.. he was depressed. i sympathise wif him but wat can i d0?.. im helpless. tried c0axing him but dat didnt w0rk either. s0 i sent him 0ff 2 bed. aft hanging up, i t0ssed & turned but cudnt sleep s0 i msged him. dis is d msg,'all ur sadness breaks my heart..pr0mise dat we shall nvr part. having u is all i cud evr want.. c0s its u, wh0m ive ch0sen 2 b my 0ne..'

its n0t s0 sweet c0s it p0pped in my mind within 5min. haha! it happens 2 rhyme at d ends. zulfadly msged me s0 i rply.. he was busy d0in him pr0j at night. its 1am f0r g0odness sake!! he's hardw0rking since pri sch. dats 1 ting i liked abt his attitude. wen ders a will, ders a way.. nuff said. i was awaken dis m0rning tks 2 my h0ney's ph0ne call. i slept at 2 alm0st 3 c0s needed 2 d0 d laundry. chat wif him f0r a while.. he made me listen 2 marc anth0ny's my baby y0u. he blasted it 0n d speakers. w0ah! damn l0ud. i l0iike.

haha.. g0in 2 d h0sp later. dun0 wat 2 wear. hmpff! i need 2 d0 m0re sh0pping. pls, i need my babes rite n0w. argh!! i tink its g0na b fun c0s i misz g0in 2 d h0sp. haha!! i need 2 get ready rite n0w. g0tta pick up my sis & we'r 0ff 2 see my granny. update s0on..

2007-01-10T22:42:00.001+08:00

i dun0 y but im jus 2 drained 2 g0 out 2dae.. its n0t like i dun wana mit hiim 0r anyting, its jus dat i tink we shud mit s0 often.. c0s eu kn0w h0w its like rite?.. in d beginning, eu mit all d time.. as time passes by, eu mit 0nly like 0nce a week 0r w0rse, 0nce a m0nth. many tings 0n my mind.. heikal's c0ming back 2 s'p0re tmr. he wants me back but ive alrdy given my heart 2 s0meone else.

its heart wrenchin if eu used 2 l0ved s0meone f0r so l0ng but dat pers0n jus left eu questi0nin whether izit f0r real & wen u've given up, he returns.. im speechless. guys r simply tr0ubles0me. y mus dey make my life a tragedy?.. can eu jus leave me al0ne?.. im sick 0f all dis.. it makes me wana giv up but i've alrdy pr0mise hiim dat i'll h0ld 0n n0 matter wat d circumstances are.. im s0rry bie. im pressured.

basicali i spent d wh0le aftnun talkin 2 fadli. he cheered me up. rina j0ined in d c0nference & she made frens wif him. haha. rina had an arguement wif luqfi, bf. s0 fadli was like j0kin ard makin us laugh. such a darling. aft rina hung up, i c0nt talkin 2 him. he shared his life st0ry. i've 0nly kn0wn him f0r a m0nth but he's been such a great pal. thankin eu s0 much. we'll talk again s0on. my h0ney was 0utside, went 2 s0me cerem0ny 0f his late canteen vend0r. i called his h0use ard 8pm but n0body answer. perhaps he's busy. futherm0re, his hp is wif his fren.. hais. i wished eu wer here.. ):

can anyting get w0rst?.. cin0 called c0mplainin dat haslam asked f0r my number. i mean, wats d deal? we'r n0 longer attch & u've alrdy hav a girl. y b0ther s0 much abt my life. i dun bug eu s0 dun piss me 0ff. its light0ut but he called sayin dat he misses me. get a grip! i dun care. u've f0oled me enuff & im n0 l0nger falling f0r anym0re. i thru wif eu.. g0sh. i shudnt even b bl0gging. im g0in thru s0 much angst. i'll g0 off b4 i burst.

2007-01-10T13:44:00.001+08:00

u always made me feel s0 special.. since d 1st time we knew each 0ther, its like we r c0nnected. having many c0mm0n interests like music genres, activities, our character,etc. f0od was an 0ption c0s i hate h0td0gs. yucks! vegetables? eiks.. hate s0me 0nly..it made me feel s0 c0mf0rtable having s0me0ne dat share tings dat i l0ve. wenevr u're ad.. i can b me with0ut w0rryin dat i'll make a f0ol 0ut 0f myself. eu accepted me as d way dat i am.. i've nvr felt s0 special in any guy's eyes b4.. but eu did. i may club, party til wee h0urs, hang0ut wif delinquents but d0esnt mean i kn0w n0thing abt my religi0n. in fact, d hist0ry 0f it fascinates me. nvr did i kn0w dat u l0ve it t0o. n0body dat i've c0me acr0ss shares d same interest. im bleSsed having eu.. i wudnt ask fr m0re. i l0ve eu as wh0 eu are.. n0t ur l0oks, ur m0ney 0r h0w huge ur h0use is.. i jus need eu as urself. u'r treasured. pr0mise. dis is h0w i feel abt eu.. h0pe u'll undrstnd n0w.. ((:

2007-01-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

i had 2 g0 2 d s'p0re general h0sp 2 c my granny.. smth is wr0ng wif her ribcage area. an internal pain & d d0c is d0ing d scanning fr her.. prayin fr her, h0ping fr d best. it was ard 4:25pm dat i rch der.. my relatives wer der earlier as per n0rmal. i had 2 wait fr my sis 2 return h0me frm sch0ol.. wat an amazement! i cud finali wear d pants dat was b0ught back wen i was 0nly 12.. back den i was sh0rt & plump. n0w?.. i m perfected. jus need a lil m0re b0dy t0ning. :)

i w0re d beige pants, br0wn heels, shades & a dirty br0wn t0p.. hawt! fat h0pe la dila.. aft visitin my aunt, i had 2 rush & mit my dearest. my mummy wana wear my heels s0 i had 2 trade fr a dark br0wn pumps. hmpff! ugly, d c0lour didnt match at all. t0o abstract. n0 ch0ice s0 i t0ok 851 der.. in d bus, der was like dis 4 matrips sittin at d back & d 0nly sit left in d bus was d 0ne in fr0nt 0f dem. i was lethargic s0 i jus sat der. dis m0rons kept kickin my chair, pissed me 0ff. wen i rch my destinati0n, i turn & t0ld dem 0ff. den an0ther mat in fr0nt 0f me kept smiling at me, watevr f0r.. i aint sure. at d bus exit, i bump int0 a malay guy. i said s0ri & he kept saying,'eu 0k tk?..tkde pape?..baik-baik tau.' err. 0k. i kn0w?.. d bus jerk s0 i l0st balance. sweet 0f hiim..

met my darling.. he w0re green c0s its he's fav c0lour. durh! we planned 2 g0 2 d library but changed c0s we wanted 2 pik s0meone up. but dat guy left s0 we went 2 amk. b0ught vanilla ice blended, 2 cheese waffle & 2 creamy puffs. wen i said creamy, i mean reli very extremely creamy. we g0t quite nausea c0s t0o many cream.. he ended my spittin 0n d graSs. hah! m0nkey busineSs. he had d puff 0n my n0se.. cream n0se. whakaka!! lame but it s0 fun. it may seem like we'r deprived frm childh0od but we'r n0t. hahaahahahaa!! d didnt kn0w wat 2 d0 so he sent me 0ff h0me ard 9+. we t0ok 852.. talkin abt d time we 1st met & h0w we sat, laughin j0kin abt basicali evryting.. f0nd mem0ries.

s0metimes ur heart keeps questi0nin whether he's fr real.. i cant say fr n0w c0s its been 0nly a wk & eu cant reli tell.. but i trust d fct dat he's fr real. having g0ne thru failed r'ship & feeling d pain. nvr wana g0 thru dat again.. i l0ve hiim s0 much. we sat under my blk til ard 10+. it jus felt s0 empty if he had 2 leave fr h0me. wishin he wud stay, but he cant. he has 2 g0 h0me. heart t0uchin c0s he still sent me h0me evn wen he's ezlink's like l0w on cash. tankiu huNz. he went h0me, i bathe & changed 2 my pjs. d m0ment we spent 2dae may seemed sh0rter den usual but d crazy tings we did was all w0rthwhile.. im 0ff 2 my heaven c0atted bed..

2007-01-09T10:21:00.001+08:00

late call at 11:03pm yesterday.. its my swithart. 0bvi0usly i was glad dat he called c0s d last time we chat was at 6pm.. i t0t he was g0na f0llow his mum 2 d sh0p 0r smth s0 i didnt call his h0use. actuali, he went 2 d sh0p under d blk. dumb me. in d aftnun, he went 2 acc0mpany his fren & later came 0ver his place. s0 i cudnt p0ssibly talk 2 him fr l0ng.. wen he call, he t0ld me abt wat dey did.. s0me weird & digustin.. eiks! eu shud undrstnd wat hapens wen 2 guys meet & dey cant get their hands 0ff each 0ther.. yiks! gr0sS!

wen we'r 0n d ph0ne, he wil alwys b playin d pSp. s0 i asked,'eu tgh main game eh?' he said,'ya, b0ring ar tkde bende nk buat..' i rply,'kirekan, b0ring eh bual dgn i?'. he laughed,'mane ade, sblum i call eu i da b0ring s0 bile da call, i c0nt la main game..'. haha! wat an excuse. i dun mind. he's still s0 shwiit. we c0nt talkin abt wh0 called me. wat dat guy wanted.. crap.

we talked abt cheese. he missed d melted cheese dat he ate at my place.. haha! i asked him 2 c0me 2 my place & eat but he said dat he was shy.. s0 suggested dat send it by FedEx. we j0ke sayin dat by d time it reaches his h0use, it wud hav fungus & dat he'll die aft eatin it. we laugh c0s its dumb. we talked abt suing FedEx f0r being sl0w in d delivery. haha! its lame rite..

abt 0ur r'ship, we hardly evr argue. evn if we d0, it isnt abt us but s0meone else.. hah! d0esnt make sense. s0 we wer tinkin wat wud happen if evry0ne kn0ws?.. bet we'r g0na argue. hate dat. i cant evn bear 2 raise my v0ice at him.. it breaks my hear 2 d0 so.. 1am dis m0rning,i ask him 2 st0p playin d game & g0 2 sleep. s0 he st0p but played s0ngs. urgh!.. b0ys jus cant get separated fr0m their t0ys..

1st s0ng played sams0n-bukan diriku. he gav a scenari0;' it was raining heavily & we wer arguin.. i didnt f0rgive him. i didnt l0ok at his face c0s i was angry at him. he smiled but i didnt care. he was drenched. he went 2 d buzst0p & b0ard d bus. d bus met wif an accident & n0body survived. came h0me & tried callin him but cant get thru. in d paper d nxt day, i g0t d news.. i was depressed.' i heard dat & tears trickled 0n my bed..

played babyface-l0neliness & marc anth0ny-my baby y0u. 2nd scene;' we wer talkin 0n d ph0ne while he was 0n d way 2 mit me. im usin prepaid s0 aft an h0ur, it will aut0 hangup. at dat p0int in time, he was cr0ssing d r0ad. wen d recepti0n hangup, he l0oked 0n his hp & a vehicle hit him. his sis called me sayin dat he's g0ne.' my bed was wet wif tears.. & he said,' imagine, d last v0ice i heard was urs b4 i died.' i s0bbed.

j0j0-weak & christina-hurt;' he kept a secret, pr0misin 2 tell 1 day. he call sayin he's at d h0sp visitin his c0usin & ask me 2 c0me. i came & his was 0n d bed. he t0ld me he a sickness & he w0nt b able 2 live l0nger. d nxt day, he passed away.' dis was d saddest c0s i rmbr nadiah. i tink i didnt treasure her enuf. i cried, feelin jaded. he made me tink abt d future p0ssibilities.. s0me truths dat may b unacceptable..

we ended 0ur c0nvrsati0n talkin abt 0ur religi0n & h0w pr0ud we are 2 b a muslim. talk abt judgement day.. d hist0ry 0f all d pr0phets. i felt h0ly c0s i rmbr all d hist0ry 0f d islam adventures in d early hundreds. im blessed 2 have d kn0wledge. i thank my parents f0r enr0llin me 2 classes. i wudnt b wh0 i m if n0t f0r dem. i l0ve dem, my her0es. ~ im l0ved.

2007-01-08T08:31:00.002+08:00

hey pe0ple.. i w0ke up t0o early 2day evnth0u i slept at 3:15am.. mus b smth wr0ng wif my brain. shucks. haha.. as usual, wenevr i sleep late it means im 0n d ph0ne talkin 2 my hubby. a day with0ut havin a late night c0nversati0n seems hardly imp0ssible. we'r addicted!.. he hasnt t0p up his prepaid.. its upsettin c0s he calls my hp & his ph0ne bill am0unt is s0 g0na sh0ot up.!!.. 0uh h0ney.. t0p up s0on. plsh.. pity ur daddy..

we talked abt d lamest stuff p0ssible.. like d fact dat im wrappin my br0's txtb0ok wif d plastic tingy.. haha. we talked abt d bl0odified c0uple wh0 cant st0p staring. he's english! argh! can mati.. g0od w0rds but wr0ng usage. cute. talkin abt wat life's g0na b like if he g0es f0r Ns. i dread dat w0rd. its n0t dat i dun trust him.. its jus dat, i wudnt wnt hist0ry 2 b repeated. jamal & me wer 2gether f0r 2m0nths b4 he entered Ns.. & he changed. many 0ther pe0ple i kn0w, t0ld me abt their experiences t0o. its either d girl 0r d guy dat will change. i s0 dun0 wan l0se him.. all i hav left is him 2 c0nfide in bside my family.

i n0 l0nger hav nadd. imisz her!! :'(. h0w l0vely she l0oked b4 she began l0sing s0 much weight & jus left.. nvr g0na return again. til time ends, i'll b h0ldin 0n 2 her mem0ries.. i l0ve eu nadd. we'll mit s0meday wen d w0rld ends.. 0ur hearts will b united 0nce again.. i cant face her family. if d0, i start breakin d0wn tinkin abt her & d times we shared in sec sch.. d dumb tings we did..

i pray dat i w0nt changed.. i'll 0nly changed f0r d better 0f d b0th 0f us.. u'r 2 special f0r me 2 let g0.. i wudnt wnt eu 2 b part 0f my hist0ry. i wnt eu as my future.. d 0ne man dat i'll l0ok 4wrd 2 each & evry time.. we talked abt 0ur pri & sec sch days.. h0w different we are frm n0w. d kind 0f pe0ple we hang 0ut wif.. 0ur p0pu;arity level.. ahaks! it kept my mind 0ff d future f0r a while.. we laughed at h0w nerdy we wer back den.. it was a sweet mem0ry kinda t0pic.. but, time flies s0 fast wen u'r enj0yin a l0ved 0ne's c0mpany.. we end d talk. his turn 2 hang up.. yeah. 2 m0re days & it'll b my turn.. i l0ve eu bie.

im hungry.. n0 f0od. nvm. diet til d f0od is c0oked.. hehe! ibu, quick masak.. im hungry..

2007-01-07T23:52:00.001+08:00

shesh. i dun0 wat my life wud b if he aint ard.. he makes my day m0st 0f d time.. he's like my bestfren, 0nly ting.. we'r m0re den dat. its makes me tremble tinkin abt d day if either 0f us starts changin & d feelin is g0ne.. f0rever. just like dat. aft all d m0ments we spent tryna h0ld 0n 2 dis chemistry.. dun wana tink abt it n0 more. it makes me w0rry abt d future & wat it brings.. he 0nce t0ld me.."ur past is my sympathy, ur future is my resp0nsibility". dats d heart-pr0voking ting i've evr heard.. l0ve. shwiit..

having n0thing 2 d0 d wh0le aftnun since my parents & my sis went 2 keje kahwin while my br0 went 0ut wif his fren.. my h0ney was 0ut wif his fren 2 get s0me stuff. im al0ne & all i cud d0 is entertain my kitty cat. she's a dear. sleepin bside me while i use d c0mputer. aww.. ad0rable. wel, my dearest called askin whether i wana mit up wif him since he misses me.. sh0ots. i misz him truckl0ads. i just wana see his face.. it d0esnt matter where we g0, jus as l0ng as he's ard.. im feel secured & l0ved.

funny ting was.. his fren's gf was frm d same sec as i was.. haha! c0incident. i wasnt cl0se 2 her but she was in tarian 0nce wen she was in sec 2. she's a gdfren 0f carina. well, planned 2 mit him at 5:30pm at d bt btk buzst0p. he was s0 cute, wat an image. imagine>> bermudas, sneakers, smart l0ng sleeved t0p & listenin 2 his psp dat he jus changed d c0ver..?.. weird but stylish l0ok. he's mine! im n0t sharing.

well we didnt kn0w wat 2 d0 s0 we t0ok 106 til prinsep st. b0ught pringles, walked pass blend inn cafe & b0arded 857. by den, its alrdy ard 7+. reached ys, b0ught drink & went 2 0ur fav destinati0n. its a secret. laze ard til ard 9:26pm b4 he sent me 0ff 2 d buzst0p 2 g0 h0me. he's such a switheart. treasure him s0 much. 3rd best aft my family; 1st & nurani nadiah; 2nd. btw,we cudnt stand s0me idi0tic c0uple starin at us. freakin hell. l0athe eu dumbness..

s0 yaa.. buz came quite fast. b0ard it & fell asleep. t0o exhausted.. reached bt btk, i saw my c0usin, hafiz under d blk wif his fren. like hell0?.. its 11+ & tmr he's sch0olin but he's under d blk chilling 0ut. wat d hell!! nvm. i went h0me & msged wif zulfadly. pri skul buddy. haha.. dats all guys.. im d0ne!..

2007-01-06T21:36:00.001+08:00

ahaks! i w0ke up at 10:42am. farhan w0ke me up.. aww! p0or thang. he has 2 g0 2 werk. nah! at least im at d c0mfort 0f my own h0me. :). s0 yaa.. i g0t kinda b0red s0 i beep all my gdfrens, enquirin whether dey wana g0 2 d SP openh0use. its kinda dumb c0s by den, its alrdy 3:20pm. dey agreed! yipee d0o daa.. im free at last!.. muahaha..

s0 i got changed & farhan miss call my hp. i w0nder y?.. hmm.. mish me huh?.. syiok sendiri. i msg him bek evnth0gh i knew he cudnt rply. prepaid l0w. damn. i leftmy h0use ard 4pm & was busy talkin 2 sam,l0udly, under my blk. i heard s0meone sh0utin my name. i l0oked up & its my bl0ody mat neighb0ur. tryna pik a fight wif me. i mean, wats d pr0blem wif me g0in out wif my h0ney?.. i didnt intrude his life 0r smth. fancy askin me 2 break my c0nnecti0n wif my dearest. fatt h0pe!! a c0uple of arguements b4 i was saved by 1 0f his braders. phew!.. rch d buzst0p & d bus came.

met my darlin angels at 4:15pm & rushed 2 SP since d openh0use was g0na end s0on. fantastic explanati0n 0f all d diff c0urses made by d students.. c0ngrats! s0me stupid aer0space guys wer tryna hit 0n haslin, raudah & me. haha! we've alrdy g0t our MAN!! dey made lame j0ke dat we laugh 0nly bc0s dey l0ok dumb. dey evn tagged us wen we went f0r our late lunch. piSsmaker. damn eu pe0ple. im interested in HIM & HIM only. 0ther guys, wait f0r d nxt reservati0ns yaa?..

aft dat, dis buggers stalked us til h0lland village. s0, we went hiding in d fact0ry 0utlet (cant rmbr d name). s0 we parted since its alrdy 7:52pm.. i t0ok 106 & had a quik shut eye. while i was draggin my way 2 my blk, hakim called. huh?.. farhan's fren. he asked me d lamest stuff p0ssible. well, still in sh0ckness & dr0wsy c0s im tired, i kept sayin,"huh? ape seyy?"..

well yaa.. came h0me. my dad made s0me stupid j0ke. i dun0 wat 2 call it. my mum was talkin 2 me but i didnt hear her. s0 she kept sh0utin abt l0werin dwn d tv's v0lume.. my dad g0t iritated & sh0uted in a funny way," fadhilah!! kau dgr tk?.. dgr tk?.." i tink he repeated it f0r abt 10times while laughin. cute but iritating. den he came 2 d kitchen wind0w & sh0uted d same ting. dis time, a chinese family g0t sh0cked thinkin dat ders a war g0in 0n. haha! shud hav seen dat man's expressi0n. funny!!..

haha.. k, im actuali reli drained. g0na sh0wer again 2 wake myself up. t0odles. & h0ney if u'r readin dis, jus wana tel eu dat i misz eu t0ns. cant wait 2 hav eu in my arms again. tks f0r d TLC eu've always sh0wered 0n me. cant thank eu enuff.. l0ve eu.

2007-01-05T18:32:00.001+08:00

it a friday.. i hav 2 mit alisSa since its been a l0ng time since we last met. azura came al0ng t0o. i met dem at ard 2:10pm,bt bat0k ctrl bc0s azura wana mit her fren ard der.. dey finished skul at ard 1:30pm. wat d hell?!.. wen it was my time, it ended at 2pm!! aint fair. i 0bject dis regulati0n.

while waitin f0r d bus, i bump int0 hafiz nip0n. haha!! exchange number & my fanclub members l0oked s0 pisSed 0ff. dumbneSs. in d bus, i saw yan nip0n. g0sh! wat m0re can i ask since i've n0t met dem in a l0ng time.. kinda misS d m0ments we used 2 shared as nip0ns. haixz..

niwae, met dem & within minutes.. azura's fren, ehsan came. blackmetal?.. i dun quite undrstnd dem... if it was punk, indie 0r em0 dudes, it'll make m0re sense 2 me. s0 we went 0ver 2 ehsan's crib. he sh0wed his cat & f0und 0ut dat he was an ex-bt viewan. ahaks! wat a c0incident. he knew my c0usin. & i kn0w his sister.. g0t a little updati0n abt wats g0ing 0n in alisSa+azura's life. still w0nderin th0ugh abt their fascinati0n wif guys named FarHan!! hah! wh0 cares? aint a part 0f my resp0nsibility.

bsides, im n0t cl0se 2 alisSa & azura n0 more. misc0mmunicati0n. haha! nvm. hist0ry shant b revealed. s09 i hang0ut wif dem til 3+ b4 i had 2 pik up my sis. in d end,i didnt hav 2. shucks. s0 i walked h0me & gueSs wat?.. i saw hazmi nip0n!! yeah! all in a day. i misz him d m0st c0s he's 1 0f th0se dat im cl0se t0. g0t his new num & wen h0me. chat wif my h0ney al0ng d way.

i reached h0me, shared a c0uple 0f st0ries wif him. kinda g0t a little curi0us at 1st wen he kept s0 so s0o many questi0n abt d st0ry. i felt dumb fr tellin him. futherm0re, d way he said it made it s0und like he l0ved her still.. its 0k. i 4giv him. evnth0ugh it kinda breaks my heart. well, we end d c0nvrsati0n since his muMmy needed d h0use ph0ne..

" am i w0rthy enuff fr him?.. i w0nder.. " - DiLa

2007-01-04T23:20:00.001+08:00

it was a bright day in d begginning. started 0ut wif a m0rning call frm farhan! ahaks!.. elfi had his prac ard 4:30pm in yck s0 basically he wana mit us earlier. but we had 0ur 0wn c0mmitments s0 we aband0n dat early meet up plan.

s0, ard 6+.. farhan picked me up frm my crib b4 meetin elfi in n0vena. well, my neighb0ur was under d blk executin an0ther ri0t in bt bat0k. y cant he jus die?!?!.. nvm. his 'braders' wer h0t stuff! 0uh. i l0ike. wel, we decide 2 sit ard bt bat0k area waitin fr time 2 paSs us by til it began p0urin d0wn buckets!.. we ran 2 blk 258 study area but d rain bcame w0rst. freezed up & i cudnt take it n0 longer theref0re, we came 0ver 2 my place.

we ate bread wif cheese+bread wif sweet milk!.. he never ate melted cheese 0n bread using d micr0wave b4.. hahaha!! wat a j0ke.. neverthless. aliSsa msg me askin whether i cud mit her up tmr ard 2pm. i said 0k. didnt kn0w he l0ok so disturbed wen i t0ld my mum abt dat msg.. s0 we head off 2 mit elfi. he iritate me in d bus. had 2 pesevere.

we rch der wif elfi l0okin upset. jaded. shucks. sat at mcCafe til 9+, talkin abt farhan's future.. very dead mo0d. n0body was l0okin happy. we had sum b0xing game g0in on btwin farhan & me. & arm wrestling wif elfi.. niwaes, it g0t kinda late. head h0me. farhan l0okin glum in d train tinkin abt his future. s0 i c0ax him til ys & we separate ways.. haiz.

2007-01-02T23:52:00.001+08:00

hahaha.. wat a day! my leg's still tired frm d 2hrs walk & excercise.. i wish i was h0me but hack! i wana g0 out c0s im bored.. r0tting at h0me, nt kn0win wat 2 d0. g0sh!.. tks 2 farhan's call. i cud g0 out!.. wif hafiz, din & ida. nt 2 4get farhan arh. dey wana g0 2 d graSsro0t club. i didnt kn0w watevr fr but jus went al0ng. din & ida came late. hmpff! waited fr dem c0s we wer supp0sed 2 mit at 2pm. while waitin, hafiz b0ught us chrysantemum tea! yeah! dey came, sm0ked & we went 2 d club.

it didnt make sense. 2+, playin p0ol?.. s0, d guys play d game while ida & i laugh at deyr dumb antics. ard 3, hafiz had 2 leave fr h0me. s0 d rest 0f us wen 0ff 2 amk 2 send ida h0me. farhan was a idi0t! he made me tripped at d staircase til my sh0e came 0ff! urgh! iritant. niwae,we parted at amk bc0s farhan & me wer hungry. we mkn at a k0pi sh0p. he had 2 sugarcane drinks while i had 1. he ate s0to ayam & i, kway te0w. we wer bl0ated!!

didnt kn0w wat 2 d0.. we chill 0ut at amk library. i read a b0ok on l0ve: islam's perspective.. he played winning 11. hah! he cudnt let his pSp g0 even wen he used d t0ilet!! eeiieeii.. by 6:15pm, we t0ok 852 til khatib, but twisties frm ABC. it began p0urin heavily s0 we sat 0pp d yP. rain st0p & we wen 2 our fav sittin area. haha!! khusyuk. un4gettable seyy.. stupid apek find find fish. haha! we decide 2 get 0ut d new ys park. splendid. d architecture rawks! 9:51pm til 10: 15pm, we expl0re d place. nice. its rec0nmended. need 2 rush h0me s0 we t0ok 965 til ys & depart.

i was iritated c0s der was many mats in d train dat kept disturbin my peace. haixx.. heck. i l0ve me. i l0ve my family. i l0ve HiM.

2007-01-01T21:17:00.003+08:00

shant name d guy th0ugh. discreti0n due 2 hist0ry.. lets jus call him, h0neypie. kn0win him due t0 a miss call. skeptical abt it?.. in fact, i was t0o! cut it sh0rt, we were strangers wh0 bcame gudfrends s0 as t0 aid a br0ken r'ship. later we bcame t0o cl0se til 0ur frendship was tested.. d st0ry g0es 0n..

c0untdwn'o7.. picked me up ard 11+ 0n d 31st wif his buddy!.. he was dashingly hawt! w0ah! n0 w0rd can describe it!.. a sight dat was plastered within d depths 0f my s0ul.. haha!! em0 shit!.. help me pick 0ut wat 2 wear since i cnt decide.. he ch0se & d 3 0f us departed 2 raffles city.. his buddy had 2 leave us b4 d event. by den, its alrdy 11:54pm. b0th 0f us practicali ran frm d MRT stati0n 2 d 0pen field jus 2 catch a glimpse 0f d extravagant fire display.. reachin d field feelin digusted bc0s of d mud n sweat! eiks!..

fantastic view.. time check; 12:03am. he p0p d questi0n,"wud eu ...?" darns. speechless. blushin fr g0d kn0ws hw long! i didnt reply s0 i t0ld him 2 giv me an h0ur. i nvr expected dis 2 c0me s0 so0n.. watchin d firew0rks, starin at each 0ther.. prayin dis m0ment cud last fr eternity.. it ended. we wen 2 find a t0ilet 2 wash 0ff d muds but cudnt take it n0 l0nger s0 washed it 0ff in a raffles blvd f0untain. thristy, we b0ught evian wif 2 nescafe; 0riginal & latte b4 sittin at a taxi stand..

12:53 am 0nwards, we venture 2 all d clubbin destitudes.. ahaks! it was funny. wen we came by club marquees, it was playin, girlfriend by justin timberlake!.. wat d hell. 1:15am, 0ff 2 bugis n went tru dark sp0oky underpaSs 2 g0lden landmark.. 2:16am; he kept askin & i didnt wnt 2 h0ld it back n0 m0re so i gav him d answer dat he deserve.. hunger fr f0od! t0ok away 2 mcspicy+fries+ice lem0n tea & ate it at d bugis junc sideway. its 3am! dats fast!!..

4:07am; we began 0ur misSi0n 2 pr0ceed 2 yishun 0n F0OT!! we succeed til amk b4 0ur legs gav way.. it was a mem0rable incident!.. as f0llows are d events..
1) he need a t0ilet.. luckily,i saw a shell stati0n! it was in lavender area!! haha! funny seyy..
2) went by p0lice academy.. sp0oky! he scare me! i cnt recall d 0ther places th0ugh.. at 1 pt, he burped l0udly hittin his chest at d same time & said,"chibai.." L0UDLY!!.. embarassin..
3) thr0ughout d j0urney, we kept glancin at each 0ther in t0tal bewilderment as we pass by his ite & h0tels!..
4) dis is d b0mb!.. we wer engr0ss talkin abt d burpin incident & laughin 0ur heads 0ff at 6+ 0pp0site sin ming industrial. all 0f a sudden, he grab my hand tightly, stared at smth in fr0nt 0f him, l0oked at me, let g0 of my hand n shrieked," ape tu?!" still gigglin, i f0llowed his stare. a shiny ting stayin still at d buzst0p. freaky! sh0cked s0 i sh0ut," siak ar eu! ape seyy tu?.." while pushin him & gettin ready 2 run.. he checked it 0ut & gueSs wat?.. its a apek wif a shiny b0tak patch at d centre 0f his head. hahaha!!.. s0 malu. we laughed abt 0ur dumbnesS til amk b4 an0ther apek bcame a j0ke. a apek riding bicycle 'rriiiinnngg..rriinnnggg..' s0 i turn & i t0ld h0neypie,"eu, sane skt ade 0rg nk lalu.." he turned bhind n yell,"sial laa!!" hahaha. s0 cute. 0ur 010107 st0ry.

shack. we t0ok 851 til ys b4 departing. takin 852 h0me, i fell asleep. he's a darling.. rch h0me, sh0wer & bamm! slept frm 8 am til 12n0on. well, gueSs i'll end here. exhausted!. haha. keep y'all updated if p0ssible. c ya..